Here it comes.  V-Day.  Chocolates.  Roses.  Schmaltzy quotes and Hallmark cards.  Valentine’s Day.  My wife and I have always had fun on Valentine’s Day.  Up until this year, we’ve been financially poor, but relationship rich.  I never had to buy her love with a diamond ring, because we show each other love on a daily basis, but we’ve always celebrated the holiday by doing something special together, just the two of us.

The other day I asked readers, “What is romance?”  First time commenter Steven Fisher made a great point about romance.  It’s not the big events.  It’s buying her flowers for no special reason.  For us, it’s been things like building shelves for her, slow dancing in our apartment, cooking together, or making out while watching Star Trek.

You see, romance, and marriage, is not a single act, but the accumulation of little events and acts of love over the months, years, and decades of a relationship.  I remember as a child admiring men who could honestly say that they were more in love after 25 years of marriage than they were on their wedding day.  I didn’t grow up with that, but I longed for it, and now I can say that I’m well on my way there.

It was a bit of a rocky start, but Lissie and I learned how to communicate with each other.  Every interaction we have now is tinged with a bit of love and romance.  Every time we are together it brightens my mood and makes life a little bit lighter.  Even if we’re just in our apartment together, doing our own seperate thing, it makes life a little bit happier.

Lately I’ve been super busy rehearsing for the upcoming performance of my next play.  I’ve been away from my wife most evenings for the past two weeks.  I can honestly say that no matter what we do for Valentine’s Day (and I have plans…oh, I do) it will be special simply because I’m with her.  Can you say that about your marriage?  I hope so.

Gentlemen, take a moment to reflect on this latter question.  Can you say that your Valentine’s Day will be special simply because you will be with your wife?  If not, what can you do to make the day special for her and for you?

Last week’s free flower giveaway was a bit of an eye opener for me. When I asked men to leave their most romantic story, I was surprised that so many of the answers were so…not romantic. Initially, I thought it was just me, but then my wife commented on it after reading the entries…then a friend of mine was like, “Dude, the guys who read your blog are totally not romantic. Guess that’s why they think you can help them, huh?”

At first, I was a little offended at my friend’s insinuation, but after some thought I was like, “Well, Cory, you started this site because you thought it could be a resource.” So…yeah, I guess there are quite a few guys out there who have no idea that men & women think different things are romantic.

Men see romance as a task to complete.

Is it true? Many of the comments on that post were about the way that men proposed to their wives. A few were about what they did for their wives before they were married. I can’t be sure, but I don’t think any of the stories occurred within the last 2 - 3 years.

Is romance a list of set procedures? Can you maximize the return on investment of a romantic gesture and calculate out what you can get with the least amount of effort? I am guessing that any women reading this are repelled just by the idea of that last sentence.

Romance as relationship maintenance.

Responsible men know that they need to get their car serviced. You change the oil every 5000 miles, put gas in, and get the brakes checked. Romance is the equivilant of relationship maintenance. Take your wife out for a date, bring her a gift for no reason, praise her regularly, and touch her lovingly. Regular romance is better than any single gesture of love over time.

Last week, when I asked for a story of the most romantic thing you’ve done for your wife, perhaps I did you all a bit of a disservice by putting attention on that singular event. Attention should really be paid to what are you doing now?

What does ongoing romance mean to you?

Time to send some flowers to your loved one! Read people’s stories of romance here and then vote on the right hand side of the page for your favorite story. Each person gets four votes. Polls close on Saturday at Midnight!

If you are one of the people who entered their story in the contest, then make sure you tell all of your friends to come and vote for your story! You can do this easily by clicking on the Share This link at the bottom of this article, before the comments.

Winners will be announced on Monday morning and gift codes emailed to the winners. If you want to know who won, be sure to subscribe to A Good Husband updates for free!

UPDATE: ProFlowers.com loves AGoodHusband.net readers, and wants to give you an extra gift. From now through March 1, you can get a 20% discount off of any flowers & a free vase by clicking on this link. Let me know if you purchase anything. I’d like to know how it turns out!

Hey everyone, it’s Labor Day! I’m enjoying my extra day off and Lissie and I are planning on doing something fun that will probably involve a bike ride and seeing something new in Portland we haven’t seen yet.

Now, you know the drill.

1. Decide what romantic thing you’re going to do for your spouse this week. Could be anything. From as simple as giving a foot rub to planning a romantic date, to planning a romantic vacation, the idea is for you to do something.

2. Let us know what you’re going to plan by leaving a comment below. If you want it to be a surprise, then just give a general idea (I’m planning a date), or, if it will help you get rolling, leave as much detail as you want to.

3. Let us know what will motivate you to make sure it happens. Plan a reward for yourself, or plan consequences if you fail, but make sure that it happens! My goal as A Good Husband is to help inspire all the guys out there to go the extra mile, and, even more so, to make sure that I go the extra mile. I want my wife to know that she is incredibly special, and this is a great way for me to do that.

This week, we’re going to paint our new apartment. Following Derek Semmler’s advice, I’m going to assume that my wife would like it if I helped her get everything ready and then helped her paint and clean up. Assuming all goes well in that department, she’ll feel properly loved and appreciated.

Ya know, it might also be a good idea for me to plan something more traditionally romantic sometime soon as well. You know, those getting dressed up going to a nice restaurant, going to a show type evenings? Yeah, I thought so. When’s the last time you did one of those?

Here’s a list of some of the most impressive inns, bed and breakfasts, and resorts that I dug up while I was doing research for my anniversary vacation with my wife.

First off -  you simply have to visit TheRomantic.com.  I had visions of doing something like this, but Michael Webb has compiled the most amazing list of … well, anything romantic that you might possibly want to do.  Good luck!

Crazy awesome luxury resorts:

Cave B Inn.  I’ve been communicating with Carilyn from Cave B, and I absolutely must take my wife here some day.  It’s everything that a luxury resort should be.  Instead of just staying at a hotel, why not go to a place that has great food, beautiful scenery, tons ot do, and is supremely romantic?  Amazing.

Bucuti - A luxury resort in Aruba.  I think that’s pretty much the definition of a luxury vacation.  Caitlyn has a staff of people who will, almost literally, bend over backwards to make sure you have an experience that you’ll never forget.

Travel agents with cool romantic ideas:

A quote from Kelly DeMarco.  “We are running a romantic fine wine and food trip to Alsace, France in October as well as a trip to india that Culminates in a Valentine’s day stay in a suite overlooking the Taj Mahal in February.”  Wow.  They still have spots available for that trip.  jhcbh.com

RomanceConcierge.com - specialized packages like Tantra for Two, his and hers makeovers, Murder Mystery Tours, and more.

TheSociety.com - How about a travel group dedicated to only renting out the “world’s most exclusive luxury vacation rental properties.”

Kitschy, unique romance ideas:

Pre-packed bags that hold all the supplies you might want for a night or two out with the one you love.  YourBagsArePacked.com

Get a personalized romance novel packed with all the juicy details about you and your spouse.  YourNovel.com I would never do this because my wife would hate it, but I think it’s a great idea!!

On the Oregon coast (close to where I live).

The Gilbert Inn.  Recommended to me by several travel agents.

TuTuTun Lodge.  Near the Gold Coast.