A Good Husband

Marriage Advice From A Man

Man Blogging Going Mainstream

Check out the ABC News article on how Dads, Husbands, and men in general are blogging, chatting, and social networking their way to better relationships.

Just like to point out that I wrote about this very thing two months ago, so I sort’ve scooped ABC News.

Sort of.

Have a happy Friday everyone, and you should check out the conversation on this article on Twitter.com

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  • Don’t Bash Your Wife

    Come on guys. Don’t talk bad about your wife. It’s pretty much the opposite of being A Good Husband.

    The other day I was telling my wife how irritated I get when I hear men engaging in wife bashing. You know what I’m talking about. Guy gets irritated at something that his wife did, or he arrives late to the game and everyone gives him a hard time, so he starts talking about how it’s all her fault, listing everything she did wrong, and then looking around for sympathy.

    Some other guy feels bad for him, even identifies with the situation perhaps, and then chimes in, “Yeah that totally sucks. One time, my wife…” Pretty soon, everyone’s joined in and the men are laughing and joking and…trash talking the women that they chose to spend the rest of their lives with.

    Something is wrong with this picture.

    You might chalk it up to a guy needing to save face in front of the boys. You might blame it on him not thinking that what he’s doing is wrong.

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’s never okay to talk badly about your wife, for the following reasons:

    You chose her. Presumably, unless you are living in an arranged marriage, you chose to marry your wife. You met her, dated her, spent a lot of time with her, and asked her to marry you. Chances are she hasn’t changed much since you married her. If you didn’t like it then, why did you opt in?

    You made a vow to protect her and cherish her. Most marriage vows say something to that effect. Even if you made up your own vows or simply went to the county courthouse and eloped, the idea is the same. Marriage is a contract that implies a certain amount of duty to each other.
    She should be the priority. After making sure that your own physical and spiritual needs are met, your wife should come before work, school, friends, and family. Looking good in front of the guys and scoring points with your coworkers should never step in front of that.

    You look like a spineless coward. Only the most craven of men think that making fun of a woman is funny. It takes a real man to stand up and say, “Hey, I love my wife and if she needs my help, then I’m going to give it, even if it takes time away from the guys.” Which brings me to my next point…

    Next time you hear a man bashing his own wife, do her, him, me, and every other guy a favor and just grab the nearest tack hammer and brain the guy. The world will be a better place.

    Dealing with the Call of Duty

    I am a man. I do manly things like watch sports, play sports, and fart. When I hurt my finger with a hammer, I must be strong in the face of adversity and not cry. I am supposed to be a leader. I am also supposed to be a warrior for truth, virtue, and the American way.
    I am a husband. I care for my wife, provide a living for us. I open doors for her when we are out together. I defend her honor when it has been besmirched. I protect her from harm, both physical and emotional.
    I am not a father, yet. I hope to be some day. I will provide a living for my child. Feed them, clothe them, and teach them to be upstanding citizens and how to ride a bicycle.
    The call of duty is a little bit daunting.
    Sometimes I just cannot handle the pressure.
    You know what I mean, right? Guys? I know that I am not shooting in the dark here.
    Every guy deals with the call of duty in a different way. Every man’s breaking point is different. What do you do when you feel your breaking point coming on?
    In the video A Tale of Two Brains a comedian talks about the Nothing Box. Men will put themselves in the nothing box so that they can escape the pressures of the world. You know the nothing box, you’ve been there. You come home from work, sit down and relax and just do…nothing. Your wife comes in and starts talking to you and you don’t hear the first three sentences because you are in another state of consciousness. It’s not because you’re stupid, you just need to shut down for a little while.
    Eating and drinking. While women are more traditionally associated with emotional eating, men do it too. A bratwurst, a soda, and an enormous piece of chocolate cake definitely make me feel better when I am down.
    Perhaps you have a Mancave? A certain friend of mine does. Many guys wish that they had a room with a giant TV, a video game console, a pool table, a dartboard, and a mini fridge. When my friend locks himself in his mancave, he’s shut away from the world and no one can bother him. He comes out refreshed.
    Maybe you like to hit things. Hit a baseball, hit a golf ball, hit a roadside construction barrel, hit another MMA fighter in the face, or just hit the road. Whether you prefer to punch, kick, or swing a bat, it seems like hitting things is a nice way to deal with your frustration and aggression.
    Enter another world. Video games like Halo 3, World of Warcraft, Call of Duty 4 all count. So does reading a great escapist novel like anything by David Baldacci, Tom Clancy, Terry Goodkind, or Dave Barry. There are also movies like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Rambo, or Terminator. It is nice to get away for a while.
    So, what do you think? What’s your breaking point, and what are your escapes?
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