Each year my wife and I have a tradition where we write each other a letter.  While I don’t actively maintain this site anymore, I thought a few of you might be interested in knowing that I still love my wife, and we are still happy to be with each other.  Here’s my anniversary letter to my wife this year.

Dearest Wife,

Several people have asked me about the seven year itch.  Not the Marilyn Monroe Movie, but the idea that seven years is the time when married couples start to feel constrained by their bonds of marriage.  I can honestly say I haven’t given the idea a second thought, other than to laugh at the idea that our marriage could somehow be constraining me.

As an artist, I’ve learned that you can’t just create willy-nilly without some sort of objective.  That objective forces constraints and those constraints are what bring true creativity.  Working within the bounds of medium bring a focus, a determination, and a platform from which to work.

So it is with our marriage.  We have the goal of being together forever, happily.  We know that after we pass on, if we have lived worthily, our spirits will be bonded together eternally in the hereafter as man and wife.  We know that true happiness comes from sharing life’s experiences together, and because we know these things, we strive to achieve that eternal happiness.

Over the last year I’ve changed jobs, you’ve graduated, and our lives have started to settle into a sort of beautiful rythim.   While I know that the peaceful state we’re in may only last a few months before the winds of change blow us into a new chapter, I appreciate knowing that we have a routine.

I love you now more than when we were first married.  While that first year was tough, it seems so much smaller now than it did even last year.  I feel so free with you, so happy.  I can share with you my deepest thoughts, my loveliest desires, and know that you will hold them safe in your heart.

Those who have not experienced the joy of being married can perhaps never know the safety, security, and peace that come from knowing that both parties are totally committed to each other, no matter what happens.  No matter how sick you are, no matter how frustrated I might become with work, we stick together and see each other through every tough situation.  I love you for that and hope each day that I can show you a little bit of that love.

It’s easy to find you sexy because you are.  While some may laugh and say that it’s because we’ve been together so long, you give me goosebumps sometimes…and I love it.

You are my darling.  My fresh, exquisite, beautiful, pristine darling wife and I am grateful each morning when I wake up next to you.  Seven years or seventy, your love is my treasure and I’ll never throw that away.

I love you, and happy anniversary.

A Good Husband

Last week I had a root canal.  Anyone who tells you a root canal doesn’t hurt is a liar.  Let me get that out of the way.  It’s been 3 days and I’m in agony.

My darling wife, however has been unbelievably kind.  She has really gone out of her way to be nice to me and to help me find things to eat that are soft enough to mash with my tongue.  How is it that she can be so kind and considerate, and I am so often a bumbling oaf?

Women give compassion.

Something about being built for childbirth makes women more compassionate.  They talk about their emotions more and they empathize more than men do.  If men cared about other people as much as women do, perhaps there wouldn’t be war.

Women give love.

My wife writes about femininity and love.  She has expressed before that true femininity is strong, powerful, and full of love.  Women are capable of figuring out what people need when they are hurting and then fulfilling that need.  In sports we call these the intangibles.

Women give service.

While I wouldn’t say that my wife’s love language is service, I would say that she has a definite need to take care of me sometimes.  I think we all want to feel needed and appreciated.  My wife loves being able to care for me when I’m really not well.  This weekend was one of those times.  Last night I was feeling guilty about her doing so much for me when she’s so stressed out about college finals and I tried to tell her that I could turn on the computer and watch a movie myself, that she could go take a bath.  It hurt her feelings that I didn’t want her to do things for me.  She really does love me.

I appreciate my wife.  Sometimes I think that know so little of how much she loves me and how she expresses that love.  I am a blessed man.