A Good Husband
Marriage Advice From A Man
Best Thanksgiving Traditions on Twitter
Author: Cory H.25 Nov
If you’ve ever thought that you need a quick idea for a way to get family togetherness on Thanksgiving, Twitter is an awesome focus group. I asked my friends on Twitter to shout out their favorite Thanksgiving traditions. Special thanks to chrisbrogan from Dad-O-Matic for broadcasting this Tweet. Check it out.
)My Wife is into Turkey Porn
Author: Cory H.21 Oct
I am all for being green. I love the beauty of the environment, and I definitely think that farmer’s market food is better than the under-ripe stuff you buy at the supermarket chains. Other than that though, I’m not much of an environmentalist.
My wife, on the other hand, is totally into the whole, organic, slow cooked, home garden movement…thing. She’s even reading this book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle:
Where does the Turkey Porn part come in? She was reading this book and wanted to share something with me. I was engrossed in something else (probably writing for this blog), and wasn’t listening. She insisted, and after a while, I gave in and listened. She then went on to read, from the book, about how Barbara Kingsolver tried to get her turkeys to have sex. It was a mystery to her as to why they wouldn’t breed, and she described, in great detail, trying to get the turkeys in every sort of…um, well, position, that she could think of.
Apparently five years ago there were no turkey sex manuals available. Of course, now there are turkey sex manuals all over.
We were both laughing so hard that it hurt.
Lesson? Be interested in what your spouse is interested in, even if it’s just in passing. These are the moments that make for great memories.
What Husbands Want for Their Birthdays
Author: Cory H.10 Oct
Today is my 28th birthday. I’m still a kid. It’s amazing to me that anyone listens to me at all, to be perfectly honest.
What do husbands want for their birthdays? I can think of a few things that most guys probably want;
whatever kind of food that’s bad for him & doesn’t usually get to eat, a happy wife, happy kids, a little party, some cake & ice cream, a power tool of some sort, a call from his mother, a day off from chores, a day off of work, co-workers who care, little happy birthday surprises that he would never ask for, a flat screen tv, a dremmel tool, cookies, a drill press, a hug from his kids, those little hand made cards that kids make with macaroni and elmer’s glue…
A little appreciation. We’re not terribly hard to please. Even though we don’t ask for it, we all just need a little appreciation. Thanks, ladies.
Oh, and for those of you who want to wish me a happy birthday, go for it - but if you could do one more thing, it would be greaty appreciated. Notice the picture of Dick Van Dyke on the right? It’s there because of the HusbandsandDads.com traffic referral contest. Do me a favor and click on over, read about the contest, and participate, if you have a website. We’re giving away free stuff…
3 Resources to Make Marriage Fun
Author: Cory H.12 Sep
My beautiful wife has an Amazon wish list and her birthday is coming up. I’m not stressed out at all. Guys, if your wife doesn’t have one of these, it should be standard operating procedure. I can’t tell you how much stress this takes off of getting birthday, Christmas, or making up gifts. Plus, it’s a great way to find out what kind of expensive gifts your wife likes, so that you can save up for them…
After attending Cre8Con last week and meeting so many cool creative people, I realized that I desperately need to get some business cards made. As if by magic, enter ArtofManliness’ guide to the Calling Card. If you don’t know what a calling card is, think about old movies when guys would put their card on the butler’s silver tray and the butler would announce the person to the owner of the house. They worked for social visits, business calls, and for courting. Now, AoM is bringing sexy back with the Calling Card - and I’m joining him. I’ll post pictures when I get them done.
Comments:
2 comments:
Monday Morning Amour
Author: Cory H.28 Jul
Last week was the first Monday Morning Amour. How did it work out? Well, it worked for me, as I got myself motivated to get my anniversary trip planned, and at least two other people told me about romantic plans they made with their spouse.
The winner for last week’s free publicity contest (sending the highest amount of referred traffic to this site) is: Derek from DerekSemmler.com. I also have to give Lin from TellingItLikeItIs some serious props for starting a StumbleUpon campaign that sent a landslide of traffic my way. If the two of you want to send me your buttons or banners today, I’ll put them up for a week.
This week, I don’t have an anniversary trip to plan, so I have to come up with something else romantic to do for my wife. You can all help me (and yourselves).
Here’s how it works:
1. Decide what romantic thing you’re going to do for your spouse this week. Could be anything. From as simple as giving a foot rub to planning a romantic date, to planning a romantic vacation, the idea is for you to do something.
2. Let us know what you’re going to plan by leaving a comment below. If you want it to be a surprise, then just give a general idea (I’m planning a date), or, if it will help you get rolling, leave as much detail as you want to.
3. Let us know what will motivate you to make sure it happens. Plan a reward for yourself, or plan consequences if you fail, but make sure that it happens! My goal as A Good Husband is to help inspire all the guys out there to go the extra mile, and, even more so, to make sure that I go the extra mile. I want my wife to know that she is incredibly special, and this is a great way for me to do that.
So, this week I will write my wife two handwritten notes telling her I love her. They’ll be at least a few sentences, and they’ll be legible. If I don’t accomplish this task, I will give away a $25 SmartyPig gift certificate to one of the readers who participates in this week’s Monday Morning Amour by leaving a comment below detailing what they will do for their spouse this week.
Thank you to everyone who Stumbled, Dugg, and otherwise book marked last week’s post. Let’s keep it going!
Monday Morning Amour
Author: Cory H.21 Jul
I have long admired Wendy Piersall’s Monday Motivation. There’s nothing like starting your week off by prioritizing the things that you really need to get done.
So here’s the question? When you’re putting your priorities together, do you take into account your marriage? Where does your relationship fit on your priority list? I know that I’m just as guilty as the next guy in forgetting to plan my wife into my busy weeks. I need a little help reminding myself what’s most important.
With that said, and with all due respect to Sparkplugging.com, I’m announcing Monday Morning Amour - a weekly motivation to get myself (and all of you) to plan a little more romance into marriage.
Here’s how it works:
1. Decide what romantic thing you’re going to do for your spouse this week. Could be anything. From as simple as giving a foot rub to planning a romantic date, to planning a romantic vacation, the idea is for you to do something.
2. Let us know what you’re going to plan by leaving a comment below. If you want it to be a surprise, then just give a general idea (I’m planning a date), or, if it will help you get rolling, leave as much detail as you want to.
3. Let us know what will motivate you to make sure it happens. Plan a reward for yourself, or plan consequences if you fail, but make sure that it happens! My goal as A Good Husband is to help inspire all the guys out there to go the extra mile, and, even more so, to make sure that I go the extra mile. I want my wife to know that she is incredibly special, and this is a great way for me to do that.
So…what’s my plan for this week?
I’ve been planning a romantic vacation for my anniversary. Unfortunately I’ve been planning it for weeks and weeks, and haven’t finished yet - not because it’s so involved, as because I’m totally afraid of making the wrong plans and messing it all up. Our anniversary is just over two weeks away and I need to pull the trigger. So here goes - I will finalize plans and book whatever hotel(s) and transportation are necessary for my anniversary vacation, and I will do it by the end of this week. We’re going to the Oregon Coast. I just have to finally pick where.
Leverage. If I don’t get this anniversary trip planned by the end of this week, then I will cut myself off from playing Xbox or watching TV until I do get it done.
But wait, there’s more….
I’d like as many people to know about Monday Morning Amour as possible. If you have a website, blog or are otherwise influential, let other people know about Monday Morning Amour. At the end of this week, whoever sends the most traffic to this post will get some free advertising from me - I’ll put up a button, banner or other ad for a week.
I can’t wait to read your romance ideas. Let ‘em rip!
Oh, and do me a favor and Stumble/Del.icio.us/Digg or otherwise book this post if you like it! Thanks!
Am I a Neo-Feminist?
Author: Cory H.17 Jul
A recent anonymous comment left on my post about how men are killing chivalry accused me of harboring neo-feminist propaganda on this blog.
Huh?
Setting aside the the obvious spelling and grammatical errors in this comment (I’m consistenly amazed at the things people will write when they can post anonymously), I’d like to know more about Neo-feminism. Since Anonymous wasn’t kind enough to explain the concepts of neo-feminism, I was wondering how I might be more clear in my neo-feminist agenda.
Perhaps you, kind readers, might be willing to make suggestions on what I do to further the neo-feminist agenda?
Please use big words.
10 comments:
- A quote for you to ponder from http://www.vex.net/~teleute/Feminism/neofem.htm
“They( Neofemenists) are of the opinion that because it was a man who imprisoned them, then any man was capable of the same deed. After all, men are alike, aren’t they? If you’ve been oppressed by one man, you’ve been oppressed by them all, to turn a phrase. When you believe an entire class of people has been wronged, and you are of that class, you are less likely to believe your class could be capable of committing wrongs than those of other classes. You view the critical eye of others as trying to re-oppress you, or to use prejudicial tactics of making up horrible lies just to put you back down again. No one wants to know their hero is fallible, and when your hero is an entire class of people, that makes it even harder. You view yourselves as one. And since you and your friends are not bad, and all of you are one, then no one else in the class can be bad. And if one is found out to be bad? It is called an isolated incident, and in fact is sometimes explained away as that member of the class had been so oppressed that they couldn’t take it anymore and broke, giving in to baser instincts, and did a bad thing. They were driven to this bad by those who oppressed them. Neofeminism wants women to take responsibility for their lives, but when women fail, it’s the men who are at fault for their failure.”
- July 17, 2008 10:29 AM
- I’m just as confused as you are. It’s one thing to engage in counter-productive men-bashing, but it’s quite another to encourage men everywhere to step up to their responsibilities, both by giving advice and by providing examples.
Though I am sort of excited to find a use for the word “assimulate.”
- July 17, 2008 10:29 AM
- Weird.
- July 17, 2008 11:10 AM
- I’m glad to see that you are embracing your neo-feminism. Its about time.
#1 - We need to take down that antifeminist site The Art of Manliness. Teaching men to be more manly? How misogynistic!
#2 - Post more about being more woman-friendly. You know, about how the woman is always right?
#3 - Quit using logic. Things don’t have to make sense, just keep in mind that it is the man’s fault. Always.
Anonymous should learn what satire is. That whooshing sound was the humor in the headline going over his head.
Although, I must admit that I think I somewhat understand what Anonymous is talking about. I’m sure you’ve seen many of today’s TV commercial that depict the husband/father as an imbecile. The “Spongebob No-pants” commercial comes to mind.
As far as this being an “agenda” by some group to eradicate the men, I just don’t see that. But, I must admit many sitcoms has given men (especially fathers) characters that are more deserving of a roll of the eyes from their daughter/wife/female character than of any real respect. The pre-teen shows on Disney channel are really bad about this.
What happened to the respectable TV dads like Dan Conner or Dr. Huxtable or (this might be a stretch) Red Foreman? When did a typical Dad become Homer Simpson or Ray Barone?
I do agree that there is a bias in the media in regards to men. I read a blog a while back in which the (female) author was upset because a dad brought their daughter to the library story-hour once, which made the other moms very uncomfortable with a man there because “you just never know”. I also recently saw a news article about a guy who was taking pictures of his kids during a public event a park and was asked not to take pictures because the other parents were afraid he would take pictures of their kids and post them up on the internet.
Now, I don’t know about you but as a dad with a little girl, that makes me very uncomfortable. Am I going to be looked at strangely if I give my daughter a hug in public?
But, I digress. I see what Anonymous was trying to say.. I just don’t think there is this big conspiracy to bring men down, and I don’t think your blog fits very well in to the neo-feminist agenda.
Anyway, back to you regularly scheduled neo-feminism.
- July 17, 2008 12:00 PM
- Russ,
I’m sorry to hear that you feel uncomfortable. You should be able to express affection to your daughter.
But I can’t say that the media alone is responsible for this stereotype. AAFP (http://www.aafp.org/afp/20010301/883.html) estimates that 12 to 25 percent of all girls and 8 to 10 percent of all boys are sexually abused before adulthood. And most of the abusers are men. (Statistics available if you search web.)
As a survivor myself, I try not to bring that fear to my kids but it’s a struggle. And even those who were never abused are hearing more stories due to media saturation about the child pornography and abuse by those in positions of power (teachers, priests, etc.)
It’s tough to be a mom of daughters in a world where pictures of teen girls have become popular internet porn and where predators prowl chat rooms looking for victims.
I encourage you to keep providing that great role model for your daughter of what a real man is. With more men like the guys on this blog, maybe soon parents will have less cause to worry.
- July 17, 2008 12:45 PM
- @Persistent - I agree. Weird. Makes for a good story though!
@Russ - You made me laugh. Thanks!
@Anonymous - You sure post a lot. I really appreciate your continuous contributions, across almost every subject and every issue. I’m sure that somehow your quoted statistics were meant to help us all better understand the definition of Neo-feminism. Perhaps at some point I will understand.
Once again, thank you.
- July 17, 2008 12:59 PM
- As a woman I’m going to chime in. You guys, ignore all that junk and be the men you are professing in your blogs. Most women LOVE the manly man. The women that don’t have issues. If you want to take pictures of your daughters at the park or go to story time, DO IT! Tells those helicopter moms to get a life or make an appointment. They need some therapy. You should not enjoy your kids, your spouse or your life less because of someone’s suspicious nature. You guys be the chivalrous knights that you are. We’re glad to ride on the back of your horse!
- July 17, 2008 4:23 PM
- This is a great topic - obviously from the comments.
Laurie has this one right. Need to stop worrying about what others think and be the right role model/mentor for your child.
- July 17, 2008 10:36 PM
- I am a father and husband. I honestly feel the pressure from “being at fault” all the time at home. I see it on TV, hear it from my daughter’s friends, and even my wife’s friends. I’m sure they jest.
I am only speaking for myself here. But I, like my friends, want to be that hero, that knight! I work at it and I struggle like every man.
I don’t agree that this is a neo-feminist site in any way. And I don’t agree that there is a general propaganda against men on any level. But it is hard to ignore the simple facts that you will find women’s groups in a church but not many men’s (unless they are upper middle class “set your own schedule” types), you see story after story in books, TV, and movies about uplifting children and women because of their victim status. The courts will write laws that aid the women and not honestly look to the better provider (this is true especially in the south as my friend will tell).
And in the end of this diatribe of mine. I look around and feel like an island of a man under scrutiny, distrust, doubt, and reticule from most every angle. It is only made worse when you marry a woman who had no father, or worse, and you must show your worth over and over and over.
So to have a site like this that will aid me in an uplifting way without destroying what confidence and pride is left in a person is a great relief to me. I turn here often for help, advice, and other help because I know that the advice will come honestly and without a hidden agenda that may or may not be against me, a man.
So thank you Good Husband. I at least have one place to turn in this world. - July 18, 2008 2:21 PM
- I am an old fashioned male happily married to the same woman for 40 years now. Neither my wife nor I quite understand what the fuss is all about. I tried to talk to my daughter in law, a very modern young lady about this and she tells me that it is the equivalent of neolibs in politics. I am more confused now.
Good Husband, perhaps you can understand and make people like me understand what it is all about!
- July 23, 2008 9:33 AM
My Least Successful Blog Posts
Author: Cory H.3 Jun
Every once in a while, it’s fun to point out some of the things that have really not worked on my blog. Check out the following, and beware your own failed blog posts!
Religion is by far the worst performer. I wish I Were A Knight Part II the Mental and Part III the Physical, and the post on Prayer.
Cleaning up our junk was a stinker with 3 views in two months.
Where do We Go From Here? was one of the first posts and I think it got a little bit of the short shrift.
My book reviews have drawn people to the site, but they haven’t been especially popular reads in and of themselves, especially the Safe Haven Marriage review.
What about you? What have your most underperforming blog psots been? What things have you tried to do that have failed miserably?
What to Do If Your Mom and Your Wife Don’t Get Along
Author: Cory H.28 May
Run for the hills. That’s what you do.
Seriously.
I was feeling a bit cheeky when I wrote this, thought about deleting it, then thought, “Nah. How much trouble can it get me in?” We’ll see.
Don’t:
- Try to be a mediator. If your mother and your wife don’t get along, they need to work it out themselves. You might think you can fix it, but this would be a grave mistake. Getting between this dispute could get you crushed.
- Take sides. If they’re having a dispute and one of them turns to you and says, “What do you think,” you should probably say something like, “What? I wasn’t listening. I’m really involved with my macrame.”
- Compare your wife’s cooking to your mom’s. It’s also a good idea not to compare how they clean. In fact don’t compare anything. If your wife asks if her home made strawberry rhubarb chocolate tart compares to your mother’s slow cooked rosemary chicken pie, just pretend to pass out. Your wife will be so concerned that she will forget all about the food.
- Force them to like each other or even spend time together. This would be like trying to herd cats. Whenever I try to get my cat to do anything, her fur stands up on end, she starts that deep throated warning growl, and she tries to bite me.
Do:
- When you have time together, structure it. While some of you may be having visions of a refereed boxing match, I was thinking something more along the lines of seeing a movie, playing a board game, or hiking. When your wife and mother are together, do something that won’t allow for a lot of idle chit chat. That’s when things get catty (see above reference - sorry, couldn’t resist).
- Make sure they both know you love them. Tell them. Separately. Tell them when they’re in the same room. Find out what they want from you and do that - as long as it doesn’t involve sharp objects and the other woman in your life.
- Make sure they know that it isn’t fair for you to be in this position. Sit them both down, individually or separately, and tell them to grow up and get along. Your mom was there first, but your wife is with you for the rest of your life and she’s going to mother your own children. Tell them it’s not fair to make you choose, and it’s not fair to make you mediate. Then throw a pie at them.
- Make sure your wife knows she comes first. I know I said don’t choose sides, but in the long run, your wife has got to be your first priority. If you don’t understand why this is…well, write me and we’ll talk. I’m sure one of the ladies reading this will be happy to explain why your wife should be first in your life - maybe even in a nice long post on their own blog that links back to this post.
The Manival #2
Author: Cory H.6 May
Welcome to the second edition of the Manival. The Manival is a blog carnival that brings together the best posts by man bloggers written with men in mind. I’m really excited about the response we got for the first edition. We received 21 great submissions for the second Manival.
If you’re ready to man up, here ya go:
Editor’s Pick:
Jeremy Neal presents Is it More Important to be a Good Dad or a Good Husband? posted at Discovering Dad.
On Manning Up
Brett McKay presents Lessons in Manliness: Theodore Roosevelt and the Spanish-American War posted at The Art of Manliness. As a history buff, and a huge AoM fan, this is a must read.
David Felts presents A Man’s Word…or On a Handshake posted at All in a Knight’s Work. Seriously, why can’t we do business on a handshake anymore?
Dee Lauderdale presents Thou Shalt Get a Job posted at DeeLauderdale.com. If you need this advice, you’re probably not reading this blog anyway, but if you are, good for you!
matthew presents iPandora » Blog Archive » We Don’t Want To Hear posted at iPandora. A little bit political, but a good point is made.
Rob O. presents Me, Metrosexual? posted at 2Dolphins. I wish I got pedicures.
Interesting thoughts on things slightly related to manliness
Joel Pagano presents Hello, and, Once Again, Welcome posted at Methodical Madness of a Mathematician.
Soo presents 8 Things That Will Not Score You A First Date - womopo.com posted at womopo - practical tips and advice for men.
Marriage Advice
a husband presents “Fine” Is Not Fine posted at iamhusband.com.
Ken presents What Are The Obvious Signs Of Infidelity? posted at The Cheating Detective.
Hayden Tompkins presents When Husbands Make You Bossy posted at PersistentIllusion, “This article basically addresses how sometimes men sacrifice their decision making capabilities because they are afraid that they’ll be a ‘typical guy’.”
For the Intellectual Man
Charlie Kondek presents Work in Progress: Japanese Game posted at Virile Lit., saying, “A work in progress. This describes how I got interested in kendo, the art of Japanese fencing.”
On Men in the Media
John Stewart (no, not that one) presents Out with the boys posted at The Night Writer, saying, “I do a monthly movie night with a group of teen-age boys, the purpose of which is to use this media to illustrate positive manly behavior.”
Bob C. presents The Soapbox - The Modern Man, or Time for a “Menaissance” | Mumbo Jumbo Daily! posted at Mumbo Jumbo Daily!
Devin Hepner presents 7 Reasons Atticus Finch is a True Gentleman posted at Birch Bender.
How-to guides for men
RJ presents How to Jumpstart an Engaging Converstaion. | Ramoney posted at Ramoney.
Corey Allan presents Man Up: The Art of Marital Conversation posted at The Simple Marriage Project.
Bob presents Stormbringer’s Thunder: Being Self-Sufficient posted at Stormbringer’s Thunder, saying, “Don’t be a lazy, sponging wimp. Make something of yourself.”
Tyler presents How to Achieve The Perfect Wet Shave posted at 4mind4body… for man.
Politics
Tony Chen presents An Open Letter to Senators Obama, Clinton, and McCain posted at Savvy Daddy.
That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the manival by using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Technorati tags:
the manival, blog carnival.
Also, can you write up a little about how you approached your wife about ordering them? I can see my wife now; “You want to order what? What the hell for?”