In the upper echelons of the corporate world, there used to be an unwritten rule that only family men made it to the top - so men made sure that they at least appeared to be family men.

Some men married women simply to look like they were playing the game.  Women considered themselves lucky to marry a man who could provide for them and who didn’t beat them. A woman knew that her duties were to provide sex, children, and to make him look good at all costs.  A marriage built on love was not something that people expected.

As long as the woman made him look good, then it helped his career.  If she was a good homemaker, a good cook, mother and party hostess, then that man was on his way up.

I’d like to think that today’s corporate world is a little bit different.

A wife’s role in today’s corporate world can range from the traditional homemaker who stays with the children full time, helping her husband’s career by making sure things are right at home, to a power broker CEO who runs the boardroom and helps her husband’s career with her own connections.

Here are six ways that the modern wife helps her husband’s career:

Fashion consultant. She loved you when she married you and she thinks you’re a hunk of burning love - but she also wants the world to think you look good too.  Let’s face it, women pay more attention to style.  I walk out the door most days barely put together, but when I really need to look good at work, my wife has a keen eye and an amazing ability to improvise.  She’s also a great judge of color.

Homemaker. In the case of wives who make their career in the home, men are blessed to be able to come home to meals prepared for them on a regular basis, a clean house, and a sense of peace and serenity that is rare to come by in today’s busy world.  Since modern women have the choice of working in or out of the home, today’s homemaker’s are ever more capable and confident in their chosen lifestyle.  The comfort they provide their husbands is beyond measure.

Power Broker. The woman who works in the corporate world is often powerful, successful, and very good at making connections.  Women are natural networkers, and they help each other out.  Heaven help the company or individual who crosses the Power Broker’s husband.  She’ll move heaven and earth to make sure he gets the right job, the right contract, or the table at the right restaurant so that her husband can meet his goals.

Socialite.  Along with being natural networkers, wives have the ability to charm and fascinate clients, coworkers, and bosses.  They leave everyone they come in contact with thinking, “Wow, that guy must really be something to attract someone as vivacious, beautiful, and intelligent as her.  Maybe we should take a second look at him.”

Cheerleader.  No one’s opinion matters more than the wife, and no one’s doubt crushes dreams faster.  The wife who is a cheerleader for her husband can see him soar to new heights as he rides the confidence she gives him with her praise, encouragement, and smiles.  Every man wishes that he had someone to tell him he can do it, and no one fits that bill better than the wife.

Confidant.  Most men rarely share their emotions.  Many men only share their emotions with one person - their wife.  If she’s sweet, and understanding, and firm when she needs to be, then her man will be healthy and able to lead the pack when it comes to landing the big deals or making the major breakthroughs.

How has your wife helped your career?  Answer the poll to the right, and leave comments below.  Don’t forget to share this post with friends!

Image courtesy of sweepdaleg.wordpress.com

Over the last few days I have been watching the news intently.  I have had a keen interest in the financial situation and whether or not Congress would approve the proposed bailout plan.  With the failure of the bailout plan yesterday, there is a great deal of uncertainty in the market, and many people are wondering where to go.

I was discussing it with my wife last night and over the weekend.  She expressed some concern over the market and wondering what it means for our lives.  I have many of the same concerns.  I told her it would be okay.  I wondered to myself, however, if it really would be.

Without taking away from stay at home mothers, single mothers, or any other family situation I laud those men who are sole providers for their families.  It’s not easy.  There’s a great deal of career pressure when you are the provider.  It’s times like these that test men and force them to stand up and be accounted for.  Many men are wondering:

How will I lead my family in times of uncertainty?

How can I reassure my wife that things will be fine?

Will I still have my job a year from now, and if not, how will I provide for my family?

What will I teach my children about the economy, about money and credit?  Do I understand it myself?

Hats off to those men who tackle these questions head on without burying their head in the sand.  Hats off to those men who reach out to help not only their own families, but those around them as well.

Men, what do you think?  How do you answer these questions?  What other questions do you have in this time of uncertainty?

For those of you who don’t know, I announced on June 2 that I was going on a four day media fast. This is the first post in a series of posts about what I learned from that experience.
One of the things that Tim Ferriss mentions in the inspiration to this media fast, the Four Hour Work Week, is how so many people are afraid to try anything new or different simply because they may end up not liking the new thing after all. People fear career change because they wonder if they may not like their new career after all.
I went through this.
I studied acting in college. Performing is my passion. There’s nothing like standing on a stage and pouring your heart and soul into a performance. I performed professionally for a couple of years and accumulated some experience. Right around December of 2006, I hit a wall. Financially, I was broke. Emotionally, I was exhausted. Performing takes its toll and when you don’t get any sort of substantial financial compensation, you’re forced to take all sorts of odd jobs to make things meet. I was working something like 60 hours a week and I didn’t even have health insurance. This was a problem, since my wife has been sick for a number of years.
Without realizing it, I started looking for a way out.
It took a while for me to take that way out. I continued to perform and direct full time throughout the next 8 months or so, and continued to take odd jobs as they came along. In a flurry of activity, we left Utah, traveled on a shoe-string budget for the Summer, ended up in Portland, and I found a full time job with regular day time hours and benefits.
A few months after I started working I started having doubts. I had never seen myself in the corporate world and here I was, a cubicle jockey. I was performing well. The company started talking about promoting me after three months and while I was smiling and saying, “Yeah, I’d love a promotion,” the whole time I was thinking, “What am I doing? This isn’t what I studied. This isn’t what I want to do with the rest of my life!” I talked with my wife about it, we prayed and fasted to know what to do, and wonderful woman that she is, she told me that she was willing to support me whatever I decided.
For me, the choice was either quit the job and go back to the unhappy, exhausted, broke lifestyle that I was living before, or continue at this job, which was fun and financially very rewarding, but not my true passion. I kept wondering if I wasn’t giving up a little bit of my soul.
So, what does this have to do with my media fast?
Obviously, I decided to stay at the job. They promoted me about six weeks ago. I’m now a sales manager. Even as I was training for the new position I kept wondering if I was making the right decision. I never came to a resolution, however. I’d get home from work and if I didn’t have anything to do, I would play video games, watch TV, or listen to music. I didn’t want to deal with my situation.
I knew that I had to, however. So I turned it all off for four days. I realized during that time, that I had to make a decision as to what I was going to do. I couldn’t keep beating myself up over it. You can’t fight an internal battle and still win the external battles that rage every day.
I pondered back and forth and after some time I remembered what Tim Ferris said about putting things on pause. Just because I was walking away from the professional performing career didn’t mean that I couldn’t go back to it. In all honesty, it’s pretty easy to become a starving artist. I am having fun at my new job, I realized, and I’m able to do things that I never thought I would be able to do – like help my wife get a pacemaker, go on a long vacation, or possibly buy a home. I started realizing that I wasn’t seeing all of the possibilities inherent in my new life, because I was still clinging to the old way of doing and seeing things.
Now, I recognize that it’s far more common for people to give up business careers and pursue artistic or non-profit work – at least, that’s the stereotype. I know a few of you will tell that I’m giving up my passion, but here’s the thing: I know I can go back to it.
A few years ago I did a performance with a few older guys who told me that they wished that they had never left the theatre. They were middle aged, pudgy, and all had health problems. They were just getting back into performing and they all talked about how they envied me. It was funny because I sat there envying them. Not for their fancy cars, nice clothes, or big paychecks, but because they had something that I had never experienced: stability.
In the end, it’s all about what makes you happy, what your bliss is. Having grown up in a poor family with severely limited resources, I have never known what financial stability was like. I’m starting to experience it now, and I think I like it. It’s a new experience that is bringing me the same amount of thrill as standing on stage – at least for now – and I know that it’s my decision to do this, and I’m okay with that.
Related Posts:
Will A Media Fast Help My Marriage?
What Do You Contribute?
Overcoming Fear of Success in Marriage

Every Good Husband wants his marriage to last and to be strong. Wendy Piersall’s latest call to action for CrowdSourcing inspired this post.

While I currently work as a sales manager for an internet marketing company, when I was in college I had just married my wife and I worked out of my home as a sales rep for a telecommunications company. The following is what I learned from my own experience and the stories of colleagues.

Focus on your family first. The reason most of us work is so that we can support our families. While our jobs hopefully bring us a great deal of satisfaction, we need to remember that when we’re old and feeble we want our spouse and kids to know us well enough that they want to take care of us. A good way to do this is to have a weekly family council.

Have defined roles for family members and for employees/coworkers. If your family members are involved in the family business, give them a defined set of tasks so that they don’t feel like the business consumes all life within its vicinity. Employees and coworkers should have defined roles as well so that there is not friction between them and family members. Set goals and have celebrations when you hit those goals!

Make sure you have a work area. It’s tempting to sit in front of the TV when working at home and just work while you watch. The problem with this is that it doesn’t put you in the proper frame of mind to be productive. You may get your work done, but you won’t be focused, you may make mistakes, and it’ll get done faster if you buckle down without distractions. Plus, when you have kids, a set work area that they can’t enter will allow you to work unbothered.

Make sure you have work hours. While one of the benefits of working at home is that you can set your own hours, having set office hours is a real blessing. One of my friends, we’ll call her Betty, works from home as a programmer, but she often works late hours simply because she gets up late or takes a long break in the middle of the day. Now, there’s nothing wrong with changing things up every once in a while simply because you can, but setting a regular schedule for yourself will let your spouse and kids know when you are available to play.

Leave work at work. Easier to do for 9 - 5 employees, but important for you too. For at least a few hours each day (and I don’t mean at bedtime), turn off the Blackberry, mentally put away your to do list, and focus on your family. Make sure your kids know you love them. Make sure your wife knows you have your priorities in order.