A Good Husband
Marriage Advice From A Man
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
How to Share A Good Husband
Author: Cory H.31 Jul
I know you all appreciate A Good Husband, and I appreciate all of you. I really do! I would like to encourage all of you to share A Good Husband with your friends and family. You may not be aware of the many, many ways that the Internet has of broadcasting content, so I just wanted to share some of them with you.
\
\
Subscribing - Any time you see this little orange icon, you can subscribe to the content of the website. Just click on that icon and you’ll be given the option of subscribing via email, or subscribing via a blog reader, like Google Reader. Each time the site is updated with new content, you will be notified of the update. Go ahead, click on it right now.
\
\
Sending articles and posts to other people. If you really like a particular post, and want to share it with someone, it’s pretty easy to do. At the bottom of each post, before the comments, there is this little icon you can click on that will assist you in emailing the article to anyone you’d like. Simply click on the icon and type in an email address.
\
\
Social Bookmarking. There are a wide variety of sites that allow you to bookmark a website for other people to see. At the bottom of each post, before the comments, you’ll see a row of icons like the one above this paragraph. Each site uses different methods of making sure that people see those articles. Some of these sites can send thousands upon thousands of visitors because people can vote to make a particular website more popular. The sites that drive the most traffic to AGoodHusband.net are usually StumbleUpon and Yahoo Buzz. As a little experiment, try giving this page a vote on StumbleUpon right now by clicking on the icon below:
\
\
Remember, you can also leave comments on each post if you have questions, and as always, feel free to contact me if you have any questions.\
In the Eyes of A Child
Author: Cory H.30 Jul
This is a guest post by Jonathan Smit from BetterRelationshipBuilder. Just want you all to know that I’m a total tool for not posting that earlier.
\
\
\
\
\’92s, friends, family or even the husband\’92s personal point of view. Very rarely is a good husband spoken about from a child\’92s eyes. I\’92m not saying that any of them are wrong, because they most definitely are not, we need these relationships. But we do need to remember our children; the way that a husband treats his wife is the same way that the son will treat his wife one day later on.
\
\
\
\
\
\
\
\
\
\
I Love My Wife
Author: Cory H.24 Jul
It’s true. Just in case you hadn’t noticed, I am in love with my wife.
She is smart, funny, and has a strength of spirit about her that usually only comes to those who have endured long term suffering (and no, I’m not talking about living with me). Plus, she’s a total babe who still wears a size six.
We’ve been watching old episodes of the Dick Van Dyke show (because there aren’t any new ones). You know, the one where Mary Tyler Moore plays his wife.
I was amazed while watching the show, because it seems as though my marriage is a throw back to an earlier (black and white) time. The way my Lissie and I interact is so reminiscent of the relationship between Van Dyke and Moore’s that it’s uncanny to me sometimes.
People say that old time TV marriages were fallacious, untrue, and misrepresentative of what real marriage was like. I can honestly say that right now, I feel like I’m living a 1960’s sitcom marriage, and it’s just wonderful to me.
Not perfect. I didn’t say that. Wonderful, all the same.
My Top Picks for Romantic Vacations
Author: Cory H.23 Jul
Here’s a list of some of the most impressive inns, bed and breakfasts, and resorts that I dug up while I was doing research for my anniversary vacation with my wife.
First off - you simply have to visit TheRomantic.com. I had visions of doing something like this, but Michael Webb has compiled the most amazing list of … well, anything romantic that you might possibly want to do. Good luck!
Crazy awesome luxury resorts:
Cave B Inn. I’ve been communicating with Carilyn from Cave B, and I absolutely must take my wife here some day. It’s everything that a luxury resort should be. Instead of just staying at a hotel, why not go to a place that has great food, beautiful scenery, tons ot do, and is supremely romantic? Amazing.
Bucuti - A luxury resort in Aruba. I think that’s pretty much the definition of a luxury vacation. Caitlyn has a staff of people who will, almost literally, bend over backwards to make sure you have an experience that you’ll never forget.
Travel agents with cool romantic ideas:
A quote from Kelly DeMarco. “We are running a romantic fine wine and food trip to Alsace, France in October as well as a trip to india that Culminates in a Valentine’s day stay in a suite overlooking the Taj Mahal in February.” Wow. They still have spots available for that trip. jhcbh.com
RomanceConcierge.com - specialized packages like Tantra for Two, his and hers makeovers, Murder Mystery Tours, and more.
TheSociety.com - How about a travel group dedicated to only renting out the “world’s most exclusive luxury vacation rental properties.”
Kitschy, unique romance ideas:
Pre-packed bags that hold all the supplies you might want for a night or two out with the one you love. YourBagsArePacked.com
Get a personalized romance novel packed with all the juicy details about you and your spouse. YourNovel.com I would never do this because my wife would hate it, but I think it’s a great idea!!
On the Oregon coast (close to where I live).
The Gilbert Inn. Recommended to me by several travel agents.
TuTuTun Lodge. Near the Gold Coast.
Monday Morning Amour
Author: Cory H.21 Jul
I have long admired Wendy Piersall’s Monday Motivation. There’s nothing like starting your week off by prioritizing the things that you really need to get done.
So here’s the question? When you’re putting your priorities together, do you take into account your marriage? Where does your relationship fit on your priority list? I know that I’m just as guilty as the next guy in forgetting to plan my wife into my busy weeks. I need a little help reminding myself what’s most important.
With that said, and with all due respect to Sparkplugging.com, I’m announcing Monday Morning Amour - a weekly motivation to get myself (and all of you) to plan a little more romance into marriage.
Here’s how it works:
1. Decide what romantic thing you’re going to do for your spouse this week. Could be anything. From as simple as giving a foot rub to planning a romantic date, to planning a romantic vacation, the idea is for you to do something.
2. Let us know what you’re going to plan by leaving a comment below. If you want it to be a surprise, then just give a general idea (I’m planning a date), or, if it will help you get rolling, leave as much detail as you want to.
3. Let us know what will motivate you to make sure it happens. Plan a reward for yourself, or plan consequences if you fail, but make sure that it happens! My goal as A Good Husband is to help inspire all the guys out there to go the extra mile, and, even more so, to make sure that I go the extra mile. I want my wife to know that she is incredibly special, and this is a great way for me to do that.
So…what’s my plan for this week?
I’ve been planning a romantic vacation for my anniversary. Unfortunately I’ve been planning it for weeks and weeks, and haven’t finished yet - not because it’s so involved, as because I’m totally afraid of making the wrong plans and messing it all up. Our anniversary is just over two weeks away and I need to pull the trigger. So here goes - I will finalize plans and book whatever hotel(s) and transportation are necessary for my anniversary vacation, and I will do it by the end of this week. We’re going to the Oregon Coast. I just have to finally pick where.
Leverage. If I don’t get this anniversary trip planned by the end of this week, then I will cut myself off from playing Xbox or watching TV until I do get it done.
But wait, there’s more….
I’d like as many people to know about Monday Morning Amour as possible. If you have a website, blog or are otherwise influential, let other people know about Monday Morning Amour. At the end of this week, whoever sends the most traffic to this post will get some free advertising from me - I’ll put up a button, banner or other ad for a week.
I can’t wait to read your romance ideas. Let ‘em rip!
Oh, and do me a favor and Stumble/Del.icio.us/Digg or otherwise book this post if you like it! Thanks!
Reader Question: Where Should We Live?
Author: Cory H.19 Jul
A reader posted a comment question under the post How Important is Your Relationship With Your Wife.
“My wife and I had our first VERY big arguement about moving to a new home in the burbs or remaining in the city. We have been in the city for 9 years in a two bedroom townhome with two boys 8 and 6. We are busting out and it is taking a toll. Plus she is a writer and I am working out of my home. 24×7! I am looking for an office job since the current one is not going well.
My wife wants to stay near the school we attend and her support group. She said she is the primary caretaker so she does not want to move and change lots of things.
I said I want to move to the burbs to get more space, get a backyard for the boys and get my wife an office so she can have her quiet time.
The problem is the singe-family homes in our city are way-high in price. We are stuck. And this market is not the best to sell. So I figured we would rent our townhome and buy another place.
Any way the fight was big and she threatened to leave. She even talked to the boys like she was going to leave. She did not. But the relationship is very icey right now.
What should I do other than telling her I will find a home near the school because breaking the family up is not worth the burbs. Plus I am interviewing very well.”
I posted this question because it’s a big question with many parts, and I feel that it would be more beneficial for those of you out there in the community to answer it. What do you think?
Am I a Neo-Feminist?
Author: Cory H.17 Jul
A recent anonymous comment left on my post about how men are killing chivalry accused me of harboring neo-feminist propaganda on this blog.
Huh?
Setting aside the the obvious spelling and grammatical errors in this comment (I’m consistenly amazed at the things people will write when they can post anonymously), I’d like to know more about Neo-feminism. Since Anonymous wasn’t kind enough to explain the concepts of neo-feminism, I was wondering how I might be more clear in my neo-feminist agenda.
Perhaps you, kind readers, might be willing to make suggestions on what I do to further the neo-feminist agenda?
Please use big words.
10 comments:
Good Husband Deeds: A Great Romantic Getaway
Author: Cory H.16 Jul
A reader sent in this story about her Good Husband who planned what turned out to be a really wonderful trip. In my opinion, it’s not the things themselves that are all that romantic, but instead the way that he carefully planned it all. Pay attention to that guys, and see if you can understand why this wife is so happy about this trip.
Of the two of us my husband, Jason Ries, is much better at planning romantic trips. While our adventures do not follow movie scripts or fall into cliches, they are romantic because they involve things that we are each passionate about.
For instance, in the Spring of 2005, he planned a trip to Philadelphia for us. He is a huge baseball and he wanted to go to see a game in the Phillies ballpark. By researching the Philadelphia tourism site, though, he
discovered that some of the hotels had package specials that included tickets to see the sold-out Dali exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. This was the only place in the States to catch this comprehensive show of one of my favorite artists.
As luck would have it, the Philly Fanatic was at our gate to greet our flight and then an airport employee insisted on driving us through the terminal to our bags. I know that he didn’t plan either of these events but they helped to make the trip feel slightly surreal and magical.
After we hopped a train into the city center and checked into our hotel, we stumbled onto an exquisite boutique named Linu filled with handmade Latvian linens. Since Jason’s mother is from Latvia, we had chosen to travel to Latvia on our honeymoon. Linu’s owner, Karina Sotnik was delighted to discover our Latvian ties and gave us a gift of some pieces of raw amber (which Jason had mad into a necklace for our first anniversary).
She gave us many tips for our time in Riga as well as some suggestions for Philadelphia.
When we left there we roamed down to Abode, a now defunct furniture shop, to view some of the whimsical pieces by Richard Dunbrack. Jason had purchased one of Dunbrack’s pieces for my birthday that year and the store evoked many wonderful memories.
At the game that evening, I was happily knitting while Jason cheered. After a while, however, Jason realized that I would be more interested in the game if I understood the strategy. He began explaining how he was recording plays in his notebok in a way that related to my work as a choreographer. When he went to get a hot dog, he was very touched to find that I had filled in the plays that he had missed. As someone who
didn’t play sports growing up, I hadn’t understood why they were exciting to Jason, but now I found myself getting swept up in the drama.
I could prattle on and on about this quick 36 hour jaunt to Philadelphia but the point is how we traveled is what made things romantic. I don’t know perhaps this isn’t even what you are looking for. If you have more questions feel free to let me know.
Planning a Romantic Vacation
Author: Cory H.15 Jul
My anniversary is coming up and I have been racking my brain trying to plan a romantic trip for the two of us. While doing some research, I found some great resources that I thought I would share with all of you. Some of this may be old hat to you, but to young guys without trust funds like me, these are invaluable resources.
Hotel and Resort staff can help plan amazing trips. Caitlin from Bucuti Beach Resort in Aruba told me that her staff planned a treasure hunt, a snorkeling excursion, and a candlelit dinner for two (with rose petals on the bed). “One unforgettable moment created at the resort led to a surprise proposal while on a snorkel excursion in the Caribbean Sea . Carefully planned with the Bucuti resort staff, the ring was packed into a special box and hid beneath the water in a nearby snorkeling site. Bucuti staff coordinated with the snorkeling charter regarding the ring’s location and made sure the couple was dropped in the correct spot enabling the fiancé-to-be to discover this treasure beneath the sea.” Every detail was handled by the staff, leaving the husband and wife free to enjoy the trip.
In a similar vein, James Hillis from Mantripping.com suggested that you can try finding the convention and visitor center websites for the areas where you want to travel. They usually have local hotels featured there, with concierge services who know the local areas.
There are a plethora of trip planners out there. Many of them specialize in planning romantic vacations. You might try looking for a Virtuoso luxury travel certified agent like one of the partners at RomanceConcierge.net.
There are all sorts of random ideas out there - like these pre-packed bags that contain everything you’d need for a weekend getaway.
Try visiting TheRomantic.com. This guy has compiled a stunning list of great romantic getaway ideas from all over the world.
Tomorrow I am going to put up a list of helpful trip planners that I consulted with for this series on romantic vacations, and some examples of the wonderful things that they have done for couples all over the world.
Men At Work
Author: Cory H.15 Jul
Join all of the greatest male bloggers over at Miserere.org for this week’s Manival - a collection of the best articles written on relationships, parenting, sports, combat & courage, and even some how-to articles. Started by Brett at The Art of Manliness, the Manival has hosted an incredible array of talent. BTW, I’ll be hosting (again) next week, so submit your article here
My personal favorites this week? I just discovered Silly Dad via the Manival, so I have to give him props for his How to Balance Being a Parent with Being an Artist. If any of you have been paying attention, you’ll remember that I’m also an artist, so it strikes a special chord with me.
You should also thoroughly enjoy 20 Reasons Husbands Should do Housework by John at Harrowed Parent.
Go check it out!
“They( Neofemenists) are of the opinion that because it was a man who imprisoned them, then any man was capable of the same deed. After all, men are alike, aren’t they? If you’ve been oppressed by one man, you’ve been oppressed by them all, to turn a phrase. When you believe an entire class of people has been wronged, and you are of that class, you are less likely to believe your class could be capable of committing wrongs than those of other classes. You view the critical eye of others as trying to re-oppress you, or to use prejudicial tactics of making up horrible lies just to put you back down again. No one wants to know their hero is fallible, and when your hero is an entire class of people, that makes it even harder. You view yourselves as one. And since you and your friends are not bad, and all of you are one, then no one else in the class can be bad. And if one is found out to be bad? It is called an isolated incident, and in fact is sometimes explained away as that member of the class had been so oppressed that they couldn’t take it anymore and broke, giving in to baser instincts, and did a bad thing. They were driven to this bad by those who oppressed them. Neofeminism wants women to take responsibility for their lives, but when women fail, it’s the men who are at fault for their failure.”
Though I am sort of excited to find a use for the word “assimulate.”
#1 - We need to take down that antifeminist site The Art of Manliness. Teaching men to be more manly? How misogynistic!
#2 - Post more about being more woman-friendly. You know, about how the woman is always right?
#3 - Quit using logic. Things don’t have to make sense, just keep in mind that it is the man’s fault. Always.
Anonymous should learn what satire is. That whooshing sound was the humor in the headline going over his head.
Although, I must admit that I think I somewhat understand what Anonymous is talking about. I’m sure you’ve seen many of today’s TV commercial that depict the husband/father as an imbecile. The “Spongebob No-pants” commercial comes to mind.
As far as this being an “agenda” by some group to eradicate the men, I just don’t see that. But, I must admit many sitcoms has given men (especially fathers) characters that are more deserving of a roll of the eyes from their daughter/wife/female character than of any real respect. The pre-teen shows on Disney channel are really bad about this.
What happened to the respectable TV dads like Dan Conner or Dr. Huxtable or (this might be a stretch) Red Foreman? When did a typical Dad become Homer Simpson or Ray Barone?
I do agree that there is a bias in the media in regards to men. I read a blog a while back in which the (female) author was upset because a dad brought their daughter to the library story-hour once, which made the other moms very uncomfortable with a man there because “you just never know”. I also recently saw a news article about a guy who was taking pictures of his kids during a public event a park and was asked not to take pictures because the other parents were afraid he would take pictures of their kids and post them up on the internet.
Now, I don’t know about you but as a dad with a little girl, that makes me very uncomfortable. Am I going to be looked at strangely if I give my daughter a hug in public?
But, I digress. I see what Anonymous was trying to say.. I just don’t think there is this big conspiracy to bring men down, and I don’t think your blog fits very well in to the neo-feminist agenda.
Anyway, back to you regularly scheduled neo-feminism.
I’m sorry to hear that you feel uncomfortable. You should be able to express affection to your daughter.
But I can’t say that the media alone is responsible for this stereotype. AAFP (http://www.aafp.org/afp/20010301/883.html) estimates that 12 to 25 percent of all girls and 8 to 10 percent of all boys are sexually abused before adulthood. And most of the abusers are men. (Statistics available if you search web.)
As a survivor myself, I try not to bring that fear to my kids but it’s a struggle. And even those who were never abused are hearing more stories due to media saturation about the child pornography and abuse by those in positions of power (teachers, priests, etc.)
It’s tough to be a mom of daughters in a world where pictures of teen girls have become popular internet porn and where predators prowl chat rooms looking for victims.
I encourage you to keep providing that great role model for your daughter of what a real man is. With more men like the guys on this blog, maybe soon parents will have less cause to worry.
@Russ - You made me laugh. Thanks!
@Anonymous - You sure post a lot. I really appreciate your continuous contributions, across almost every subject and every issue. I’m sure that somehow your quoted statistics were meant to help us all better understand the definition of Neo-feminism. Perhaps at some point I will understand.
Once again, thank you.
Laurie has this one right. Need to stop worrying about what others think and be the right role model/mentor for your child.
I am only speaking for myself here. But I, like my friends, want to be that hero, that knight! I work at it and I struggle like every man.
I don’t agree that this is a neo-feminist site in any way. And I don’t agree that there is a general propaganda against men on any level. But it is hard to ignore the simple facts that you will find women’s groups in a church but not many men’s (unless they are upper middle class “set your own schedule” types), you see story after story in books, TV, and movies about uplifting children and women because of their victim status. The courts will write laws that aid the women and not honestly look to the better provider (this is true especially in the south as my friend will tell).
And in the end of this diatribe of mine. I look around and feel like an island of a man under scrutiny, distrust, doubt, and reticule from most every angle. It is only made worse when you marry a woman who had no father, or worse, and you must show your worth over and over and over.
So to have a site like this that will aid me in an uplifting way without destroying what confidence and pride is left in a person is a great relief to me. I turn here often for help, advice, and other help because I know that the advice will come honestly and without a hidden agenda that may or may not be against me, a man.
So thank you Good Husband. I at least have one place to turn in this world.
Good Husband, perhaps you can understand and make people like me understand what it is all about!