A Good Husband’s Habits

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As I start writing this, I am exactly one week away from getting married. I am a little older than most Mormon grooms (I’m 27) so I’ve had more time than most to think about how I want to approach my future marriage and family. As I’ve watched friends move one by one (or I guess two by two) into the married life, I’ve told myself things like, “When I’m married I will…” or, “When I have kids I will…” Those promises that I made to myself weigh more heavily on my mind than anything else as I move closer and closer to the day I’ve been looking forward to for so long.It’s my turn to prove that I can be the husband and father that I’ve told myself that I will be. To be honest, that scares me. But I am confident that being that kind of man doesn’t require an extraordinary accomplishment. All it takes is developing the right habits.

We are creatures of habit, and in reality, we have to be. Can you imagine what your life would be like if you did things differently every day? If you woke up at different times, ate novel foods, and went to work in a new place? Life would be chaotic and we would always be out of our element. The more times we do something, the better we get at it, and habits help us be more efficient at the things we have to do every day, even things like brushing our teeth.

The problem with this arises when our habits are selfish, as many of them are. We grow up with mom to take care of the dishes, so we get in the habit of not doing them. We grow up with dad to tell us to mow the lawn, so we get in the habit of only doing things when we are told. Habits make life easier, and selfish habits are the easiest to develop because they involve the least amount of work and initiative.

That runs contrary to the husband and father that I want to be though. I want to be a husband who helps around the house, who does the dishes, who cooks every once in a while, who would rather spend time with the kids than veg in front of the TV after a long day at work.

That means I have to start developing these habits now. If my habit is to plop down in front of the  TV right when I get home now, I’m going to want to keep doing that when my soon-to-be wife and I have kids. Bad habits are hard to break. Believe me. I’ve been biting my fingernails since the first grade.

If I can start my marriage off on the right foot with selfless habits, I can be the husband and father that I want to be, no matter how busy I am with my job or calling. That’s a reassuring thought. Because the time of preparation is now past. As I finish writing this, I am exactly 6 days, 22 hours, and 48 minutes away from getting married.

Let’s hear about some of your good husband habits in the comments (I could use the tips).