A New Year’s Resolution for My Marriage

I have dated this man for 8 years. Wasnt after he suffered from prostate cancer that he thought seriously of getting married to me. Problem is, I loved him unconditionally. Yet, everytime I had this nagging feeling that he was using me for sex. 6 yrs down the road, he finally bought me an engagement right and asked me to marry him. He could not bring himself to tell his family though. I pushed him to do so, and his father was ecstatic. He said "You have always bn my favourite." Now, I knew my boyfriend was not loyal, however, a part of me believed that if I tried hard enough he would see that I meant business. I worked extra hours at awork so I could make more money and go out to dinner. Well, 8 yrs ago, I had no rented home'''I lived off subsidized help. Now, I am a nurse graduate with my own home.

Recently, he came to me. Stated he wanted to get married but that he wanted me to sell my house so I could move in with him. I am now peaceful in my home. I fear he will mistreat me and try to control me. Yes I wear his ring. Why I am so suspicious...will this ever work?

this is beautiful...i m sure you are already on your way to support her and will be always on her side..
but what if the opposite happens...some husband somewhere giving whatever he has, saying all his old friends good bye, not able to talk with a stranger asn the wife always blame him for talikning with others?...yeah that's my situation...though our's a love marriage...but now I am facing with all of these issues. sometimes she becomes so possessive...that she gone beyond control...started to beat me up...cursed me and shut her off in a room.....I don't know what I gonna do...I am still holding it off....i don't know for how long I can....

I'm going to add myself to your list of admirers.

I think its a sign of a strong marriage when one is attentive, concerned, and tirelessly works to satisfy the real needs of the other. It's an act of touch... an act of intimacy.

Wow!!! You are definitely right that when someone says they are out to do something it is very easy to immediately say "no you can't". I applaud your future patience and current support for your wife's dreams.

This was beautiful. And for YOU to express so openly to people is wonderful. I appreciate this blog and what your doing. Thank You for being who You are =)

Keep loving him, Cindy. You've invested 14 years of your life in your marriage: don't give up now. If you keep focusing on the reasons you love him, it will help. I've found the more I focus on the positive aspects of my relationship with my husband (and on his positive qualities), the better my relationship is. Don't keep score, please. It's so detrimental to your marriage.

Take care. Unselfish love will come from him when you're not looking.

Denise

Hi,
You sound like a great husband. My first thought was,
is this guy for real?? I wish my husband was unselfish like that. Your wife is blessed. Sometimes, no often, I wonder if I should move on. We have been married for almost 14 yrs. Most of them have been because of me hangin on. It seems like I am always giving and he is always taking. I wonder what it's like to feel real love.
Not selfish love.
Cindy

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