Just like it’s the little things that make a marriage great, it’s the little things that make a marriage hell.
I once heard someone say that you should find out something that annoys your spouse and make sure you do it every once in a while. Now, I can say with absolute certainty that I have this skill down pat – without even trying. I do it without thinking, but I don’t think that it helps, you know what I’m saying?
I like to perform in plays. It’s a passion that I have, and I consider myself a professional. The problem, of course, is that I also have a day job. When I am in rehearsals for any particular production I tend to be very busy and when I am home, I have a tendency to be distracted and busy. It becomes easy for me to forget to take care of my most important relationship – my marriage.
Women need emotional attention. Many men have the emotional attention span of a mayfly (for those who don’t know, the average lifespan of a mayfly is less than 24 hours, so their attention span is necessarily short). When emotions come up for men, we roll our eyes and shrug it off. This eye rolling is hurtful for women and not constructive in marriage. While a man may brush off a bad dream or a quarrel, women will agonize over its meaning and need to discuss it. Men, we need to give women the attention they are due and make sure we validate their feelings.
Open the door for your wife. It may seem like a trivial thing, but not opening the door for your wife, making a meal for yourself and not for her, leaving your dirty socks everywhere, and a thousand other little careless things make a big difference. Some relationship therapists talk about an emotional bank account. Every interaction you have with your spouse is either a withdrawal or a deposit. Think about your day. You’ll recognize which ones are withdrawals and which are deposits. Make sure your bank account is positive.
For my marriage, the little things that kill are: failing to follow through on tasks I take on, failing to be forthcoming with my own emotions, leaving my biking clothes on the floor, or leaving sinks full of dishes.
What are the little things that kill in your marriage?
yes, little things count and they matter the most. Success in marriage depends on how both - hustband and "wife" doing small things for each other. Marriage is not just husband's duty, you know. Wife's participation in marriage is very important. More than her size, what's important is what she is doing for the husband. Simple things like cooking nice meal, respectful towards husband go a long way.
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