Signs of a Cheating Husband

I've been married for 2 yrs,and i can say that my marriage hasen't been working well before.The worst thing is i've just found that my husband has been cheating on me,but he doesn't want to admit it.I hate him so much right now i even want to file for divorce,but we have a 10 month old baby that i love so much...i just don't want him to be miserable later on.Why should i do?I need help

in reply to Sammy. I'm not going to beat you up for what you did, but as a wife whose husband cheated for that same reason, you should have asked her how she felt before you went off and cheated. My husband had no idea that I didn't feel things were as bad as he thought they were. Here are my suggestions for what you should do: TAKE IT. Take every single thing that she has to throw at you verbally. No matter how angry you get. You made your bed and now you lie in it for as long as it takes. Listen to everything she has to say no matter what. Do NOT argue back. What you did was wrong and dang near unforgivable. You have no right to argue. Remember that she has to live with the scars of your actions for the rest of your life. Never bring up things that will cause her pain. Never discuss physical details of your affair. Get counseling. And then you need to compromise. Cut the other person completely out of your life. Change your cell phone. Close email accounts. Give your passwords to your wife until she can trust you agin. Hand over your cell so she can check it. Be open and honest about the smallest of details (where you're going. who you're with. what time you'll be back). And finally, DON'T DO IT AGAIN!

i thank you for enlighting me i have being unfaithful to my wife and it really hurts alot she come to discovery thr my househelp since then things have being hell for me till my pressure is high that i was informed by my doctor i can get a heart attack iam sorry for all i did to her i had assumed that she does not love me but i was wrong i wish that i could gain back her trust its really hurting to take advantage of someone know iam payin back for all my sins i wish i could turn back the clock iam really sorry for what i have done pls advice on what to do

oh ..... forgot ... good advice on the article, especially the 'observe relationship changes'. Any time I've seen an affair, the partner that was the victim of the affair always says 'I saw this change, that change, this change .... but I figured it was just a phase or bad day...'
Trust your instincts ......

@minTheGap "...A marriage needs to be nurtured every single day. My advice to others would be to not become complacent".

Well said and I agree. Like many, I've been friends with one or both partners where a relationship or marriage breaks down and it always comes down to this in some aspect. People get lazy and complacent. When that happens, you just need it to be frustrating long enough for one of the people in the relationship. If the problems can't be solved for whatever reason -- maybe the partner no longer cares, maybe they've changed. Add to this meeting a person that gives you what your partner is not, listening, empathy whatever and before you know it -- affair.

Although thankfully it has not happened to me or by me, I've seen good people and good couples end up in an affair and/or divorced.

I would like to add that it is not always the husband who cheats. I am close to a couple where the wife cheated, after nearly 30 years of marriage. Had you asked her two years ago if she ever thought she would have an affair, she probably would have laughed in your face. A marriage needs to be nurtured every single day. My advice to others would be to not become complacent - it's like pornography - never think, "that could never happen to me." It can. Guard your marriage like the precious thing that it is.
And that couple is recovering, though it is a long and hard road. The atonement makes nearly anything possible, and a marriage can last forever, even after adultery, if both parties are humble and willing to change.

The natural follow up to this is a list of ways to keep from getting into an affair (but that's really the point of your site), but I would say that you should make sure (as a guy) that you're home as often as possible and prioritize your house.

But if I'm adding to your list, I would suggest that a wife listed to what he says about the female coworkers he has or how he spends his day. Affairs don't just appear-- they usually happen gradually.

And I'd also say that a wife should be checking inward to find if there's some sin or some reason why the husband is looking elsewhere.

MInTheGaps last blog post..Secret for Wives #7

I knew a couple who put their marriage back together after the hub's affair. It was a long haul but they made it. The hub was repentant but the wife made him really suffer for a good while. What really sucked about the whole thing was that his affair happened when she had just had their third child, had just had breast cancer surgery, (having had a mastectomy) and was bald from chemo. The hub did it as a reflex from his fears of losing her, no excuse but we all do crazy things when our lives are out of control. The wife was also mean to the woman in the affair sending her mean letters and dead flowers. The wife got to a place, through her relationship with God and much counseling, to forgive them both and move on with their marriage. Today they seem to be really solid but I don't live in their house.

I had a conversation with my hub about a month ago where I point blank told him I knew he had been attracted to a woman he use to work with. He admitted he was. I told him that being attracted to other people can easily happen it is where you go with it that creates the problem.

Women also have affairs Cory. Frankly, I would be more concerned about myself than my hub. I don't plan on it but I do feel more vulnerable than I think he is.

Good post.