Comments on: Could You Forgive Your Spouse for Cheating? http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/ Marriage Advice From A Man Tue, 16 Mar 2010 04:35:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Danielle http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1477 Danielle Sat, 13 Feb 2010 02:29:21 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1477 I agree with the rest...I'm hurt. To be cheated on is hurtful. It makes you feel less than and not enough. If you don't love and respect the person, why stay? I agree with the rest…I’m hurt. To be cheated on is hurtful. It makes you feel less than and not enough. If you don’t love and respect the person, why stay?

]]> By: Naisha http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1414 Naisha Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:51:52 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1414 And it all continues....... The truth finally came out... The mistress is pregnant..... WOW! The girl works with him, she's 40yrs old and just WOW! I feel like the world is crumbling before his eyes and I am his wife... I feel like I need to be there for him or he doesn't have a chance in the world to overcome this dilemma. Her doctor said 10 out of 10 she will lose the baby because of tumors. And he also said 9 out of 10, if she has the baby, she or the baby will die during pregnancy. Man.... Soo you could just imagine where my head is right now. I'm trying to be strong for him and support him but my strength for myself is withering away. I'm just trying not to lose myself in all of this...... I want revenge but I don’t have it in me.... I love him! I love him sooo much and I don't want to hurt him any further because most of the 10yrs we have been together have been awesome. He FUCKED UP ROYALLY! But my Vows are for better or worse. If I didn't see his character, I would have left already... I just feel stupid because I would tell my friends that you deserve better..... But do I? I'm just staying prayed up... Begging God for strength. I just want to follow Gods path and I'm not sure if my husband is supposed to battle this alone or with me. I think God wants me to focus on me but I'm sure he doesn't want me to Flee from my husband. And he is defending her. When I talk badly about her, he stops me and tells me not to blame her.... However if she is such a saint, why would she sleep with a married man? Don’t get me twisted, I blame my husband... But I'm also angry with her. She texted me out the blue, telling me a few things and when I called her she doesn't answer my calls. She told my husband that she doesn't want us to have nothing to do with the baby.... WHY??? Although I’m angry as hell, this will be my husband’s first child and I am JUST, as a part of this, as my husband is... I just don't know what to do? I'm sooo hurt..... DAMN!!!! She called my phone and completely disrespected me. Soo I called all my wolves out and they attacked her. Even after this, and after me finding out the truth, I tried calling her to make amends. This baby is innocent, and didn’t ask to be here. This baby deserves to see its daddy and step mother. I told her that although I DO NOT LIKE HER, we have to have a descent relationship for the baby. Yet she calls me immature….. This bitch is almost 40 and slept with a 26yr old married man. UGH, this situation just makes me sick to my stomach. So my husband and I have our days. One minute were up and the next down. And it’s because of me. Sometimes I can’t turn my mind off… How do I stop thinking about it so I can truly forgive him? Time is supposed to make things easier but with a baby evolved, it’s only harder. I mean I’m only 24!!! A beautifully mature 24. I’m willing to play the baby Mama Ghetto game for my husband. But then again why should I? Men throw themselves at me all the time and I want my husband to understand that I don’t have to be here. During this entire incident, I have been giving him the upper hand, making him talk to me about it and I’m not allowing him to truly feel the error of his ways... I’m just afraid that if I do, I will lose him to LIFE…. NOT to her, or not for myself… Just life period because he is so stressed out. And it all continues……. The truth finally came out… The mistress is pregnant….. WOW! The girl works with him, she’s 40yrs old and just WOW! I feel like the world is crumbling before his eyes and I am his wife… I feel like I need to be there for him or he doesn’t have a chance in the world to overcome this dilemma.
Her doctor said 10 out of 10 she will lose the baby because of tumors. And he also said 9 out of 10, if she has the baby, she or the baby will die during pregnancy. Man…. Soo you could just imagine where my head is right now. I’m trying to be strong for him and support him but my strength for myself is withering away. I’m just trying not to lose myself in all of this…… I want revenge but I don’t have it in me…. I love him! I love him sooo much and I don’t want to hurt him any further because most of the 10yrs we have been together have been awesome. He FUCKED UP ROYALLY! But my Vows are for better or worse. If I didn’t see his character, I would have left already… I just feel stupid because I would tell my friends that you deserve better….. But do I? I’m just staying prayed up… Begging God for strength. I just want to follow Gods path and I’m not sure if my husband is supposed to battle this alone or with me. I think God wants me to focus on me but I’m sure he doesn’t want me to Flee from my husband.
And he is defending her. When I talk badly about her, he stops me and tells me not to blame her…. However if she is such a saint, why would she sleep with a married man? Don’t get me twisted, I blame my husband… But I’m also angry with her. She texted me out the blue, telling me a few things and when I called her she doesn’t answer my calls. She told my husband that she doesn’t want us to have nothing to do with the baby…. WHY??? Although I’m angry as hell, this will be my husband’s first child and I am JUST, as a part of this, as my husband is… I just don’t know what to do? I’m sooo hurt….. DAMN!!!!
She called my phone and completely disrespected me. Soo I called all my wolves out and they attacked her. Even after this, and after me finding out the truth, I tried calling her to make amends. This baby is innocent, and didn’t ask to be here. This baby deserves to see its daddy and step mother. I told her that although I DO NOT LIKE HER, we have to have a descent relationship for the baby. Yet she calls me immature….. This bitch is almost 40 and slept with a 26yr old married man. UGH, this situation just makes me sick to my stomach.
So my husband and I have our days. One minute were up and the next down. And it’s because of me. Sometimes I can’t turn my mind off… How do I stop thinking about it so I can truly forgive him? Time is supposed to make things easier but with a baby evolved, it’s only harder. I mean I’m only 24!!! A beautifully mature 24. I’m willing to play the baby Mama Ghetto game for my husband. But then again why should I? Men throw themselves at me all the time and I want my husband to understand that I don’t have to be here.
During this entire incident, I have been giving him the upper hand, making him talk to me about it and I’m not allowing him to truly feel the error of his ways… I’m just afraid that if I do, I will lose him to LIFE…. NOT to her, or not for myself… Just life period because he is so stressed out.

]]> By: Majid http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1364 Majid Thu, 31 Dec 2009 12:25:26 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1364 i dont think its a question of frgiveness but time heals the wounds. Its important for the person affected to not reflect on the hurt and betrayal but to give the mind its peace, no point constantly reminding oneself and your partner of his or her infidelity. Especially if there are kids involved but to ensure mistakes are not repeated . I dont mean to be a male chauvanist but historically its normal for men to have had more than one woman/ wife in their life. Women need to be patient with Men they might love someone else but they love you too. No man ever finds it easy to leave his wife for another love. We might not ever forgive but time heals if you want to be healed and Be loved by your infidel spouse again. I think when this happens shouldn't take any rash action but to give it time, dont just run to the divorce lawyer.. patience and see how things play out. Flow with the waves be they strong or calm. i dont think its a question of frgiveness but time heals the wounds. Its important for the person affected to not reflect on the hurt and betrayal but to give the mind its peace, no point constantly reminding oneself and your partner of his or her infidelity. Especially if there are kids involved but to ensure mistakes are not repeated . I dont mean to be a male chauvanist but historically its normal for men to have had more than one woman/ wife in their life.

Women need to be patient with Men they might love someone else but they love you too. No man ever finds it easy to leave his wife for another love.

We might not ever forgive but time heals if you want to be healed and Be loved by your infidel spouse again.

I think when this happens shouldn’t take any rash action but to give it time, dont just run to the divorce lawyer.. patience and see how things play out. Flow with the waves be they strong or calm.

]]> By: Naisha http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1360 Naisha Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:49:26 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1360 My husband told me about a week ago that he cheated on me. I went to work the following day and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was gonna die. The worst part about it is, a month before, he caught me talking to my X. I never did much, but YES!!! I was wrong. Two days later he cheated. I felt it.................. I felt it............... I knew but I didn't know. We are high school sweethearts and took eachothers V. It hurt b/c I loved the fact that I can say we only had sex with one another.................... Okay NE ways a month after my secret was revealed, his came out. Prior to that, he was really hurting me. Making me feel like I was shit...... MAN!!! I knew I messed up so I changed and I'm still changing for the better, but it everytime I tried he took a dump on my heart. Then he comes out and says that he cheated on me and had sex with me too.... I mean he didn't even go to the clinic..... WOW!!! He said that he needed to feel like a man......... What the FUCK is that about??? I blame myself b/c I always took control in our relationship and when I counted on him, and he would let me down, I b-littled him.. Its ALL MY FAULT!! But I'ma still try and I'ma try to make it work. I KNOW he is a good man.... But I feel soooo dumb..... I thought I knew him... Now I can't even look @ him the same. How can a man soooo sweet do something like this? HOW? I wanna cry.... We have been together for TEN years man.... How do I stop my brain from re-living those moments? God help me...... My husband told me about a week ago that he cheated on me. I went to work the following day and I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was gonna die. The worst part about it is, a month before, he caught me talking to my X. I never did much, but YES!!! I was wrong. Two days later he cheated. I felt it……………… I felt it…………… I knew but I didn’t know. We are high school sweethearts and took eachothers V. It hurt b/c I loved the fact that I can say we only had sex with one another……………….. Okay NE ways a month after my secret was revealed, his came out. Prior to that, he was really hurting me. Making me feel like I was shit…… MAN!!! I knew I messed up so I changed and I’m still changing for the better, but it everytime I tried he took a dump on my heart. Then he comes out and says that he cheated on me and had sex with me too…. I mean he didn’t even go to the clinic….. WOW!!! He said that he needed to feel like a man……… What the FUCK is that about??? I blame myself b/c I always took control in our relationship and when I counted on him, and he would let me down, I b-littled him.. Its ALL MY FAULT!! But I’ma still try and I’ma try to make it work. I KNOW he is a good man…. But I feel soooo dumb….. I thought I knew him… Now I can’t even look @ him the same. How can a man soooo sweet do something like this? HOW? I wanna cry…. We have been together for TEN years man…. How do I stop my brain from re-living those moments? God help me……

]]> By: combat barbie http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1356 combat barbie Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:12:04 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1356 i just found out that my husband of only 4 months was cheating on me. he claimed that he only did it because he didnt know if we were going to stay together. i am in the military and i am leaving in a month. i dont know what to do i cant trust him now and i dont think that i will be able to in a month when i leave. im strong enough to defend my country but i dont know if i am strong enough to forgive my husband. i just found out that my husband of only 4 months was cheating on me. he claimed that he only did it because he didnt know if we were going to stay together. i am in the military and i am leaving in a month. i dont know what to do i cant trust him now and i dont think that i will be able to in a month when i leave. im strong enough to defend my country but i dont know if i am strong enough to forgive my husband.

]]> By: Sandra D http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1309 Sandra D Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:37:43 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1309 Well, I just wanted to put an update on here, and hopefully give some women some hope. It has been a year since I found out that my husband was cheating on me... and it has been a rough year. I have periods of loving him and periods of hating him... the good news for everyone out there trying to find a way to forgive their husband is that the periods of loving him are now far more than the periods of hating him. I can not say I trust him yet. What makes it worse is that he is in a band that goes out of town from time to time to play... those nights are hard... especially the night he played at the other womens (or should I say girls) University campus! But, I have to find a way to trust him again, and I feel like that is slowly returning. Now, I am not saying that all husbands who cheat should be forgiven... every situation is unique. When I looked back at our situation, it made a little more sense. We had just moved out to the burbs, had kids and lost most of our friends because of it. I am not saying that is an excuse, but it is very textbook for a man to cheat at that time as they are not ready to give up their youth... no matter how badly they want to be married with kids, it scares most of them! I decided to forgive my husband, at first, only for the kids sake (I hate that, by the way). But, I am glad I made that decision. Our relationship is stronger because of everything we have been through and we really make sure to take time for ourselves so we are not always "Mom and Dad", we are also "insert names here"... we have also moved back into the City and got our lives back on the track we want them to be on... not the one that society makes you believe you should follow. Good luck to everyone out there that is dealing with an affair. There is hope! Well, I just wanted to put an update on here, and hopefully give some women some hope. It has been a year since I found out that my husband was cheating on me… and it has been a rough year. I have periods of loving him and periods of hating him… the good news for everyone out there trying to find a way to forgive their husband is that the periods of loving him are now far more than the periods of hating him. I can not say I trust him yet. What makes it worse is that he is in a band that goes out of town from time to time to play… those nights are hard… especially the night he played at the other womens (or should I say girls) University campus! But, I have to find a way to trust him again, and I feel like that is slowly returning.

Now, I am not saying that all husbands who cheat should be forgiven… every situation is unique. When I looked back at our situation, it made a little more sense. We had just moved out to the burbs, had kids and lost most of our friends because of it. I am not saying that is an excuse, but it is very textbook for a man to cheat at that time as they are not ready to give up their youth… no matter how badly they want to be married with kids, it scares most of them!

I decided to forgive my husband, at first, only for the kids sake (I hate that, by the way). But, I am glad I made that decision. Our relationship is stronger because of everything we have been through and we really make sure to take time for ourselves so we are not always “Mom and Dad”, we are also “insert names here”… we have also moved back into the City and got our lives back on the track we want them to be on… not the one that society makes you believe you should follow.

Good luck to everyone out there that is dealing with an affair. There is hope!

]]> By: mary anne http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1292 mary anne Sun, 05 Jul 2009 15:43:42 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1292 I found out 3 weeks ago my husband was having an emotional affair through facebook oh and then they had cyber sex, so far the only reason he is still here is for the kids and I will never forgive him and never trust him again, this is not the first time his cheating online has been found so he has a history and all he does it tell me lies and i don't believe a word he says to me.. I found out 3 weeks ago my husband was having an emotional affair through facebook oh and then they had cyber sex, so far the only reason he is still here is for the kids and I will never forgive him and never trust him again, this is not the first time his cheating online has been found so he has a history and all he does it tell me lies and i don’t believe a word he says to me..

]]> By: Carol http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1291 Carol Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:49:28 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1291 Missy, my heart goes out to you. It appears no one replied to your plea for help and I am certainly not qualified to do so. The only thing that I can tell you is that the hurt does get better with time. But if you have only been married 7 months, I would take this as an early warning to leave the relationship while it is young. The longer you try to hang on to the relationship, the more emotionally tied you will be. Pick your self up, develop a plan and carry on. I know it is tempting to stay and try to work things out, but if someone will cheat after 7 months of marriage, I personally think there is very little chance of them staying faithful to you in the future. Be good to yourself! Missy, my heart goes out to you. It appears no one replied to your plea for help and I am certainly not qualified to do so. The only thing that I can tell you is that the hurt does get better with time. But if you have only been married 7 months, I would take this as an early warning to leave the relationship while it is young. The longer you try to hang on to the relationship, the more emotionally tied you will be. Pick your self up, develop a plan and carry on. I know it is tempting to stay and try to work things out, but if someone will cheat after 7 months of marriage, I personally think there is very little chance of them staying faithful to you in the future. Be good to yourself!

]]> By: missy http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1289 missy Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:09:21 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1289 i just found out yesterday that my husband is having an affair. i have been suspecting for some time now but we have only been married for 7 months am crushed & whats worse is that he says he doesnt even know the same woman they just chat on the internet, i dont no whatto do help me i just found out yesterday that my husband is having an affair. i have been suspecting for some time now but we have only been married for 7 months am crushed & whats worse is that he says he doesnt even know the same woman they just chat on the internet, i dont no whatto do help me

]]> By: BEA http://agoodhusband.net/2008/12/could-you-forgive-your-spouse-for-cheating/#comment-1287 BEA Wed, 17 Jun 2009 17:52:24 +0000 http://agoodhusband.net/?p=1040#comment-1287 A cheating husband broke my heart..and then crushed it. I know a mistake can happen ..but after 10 years of marriage how can someone have their supposedly first affair on your wedding anniversary..He has lied over and over..I try to forgive..I know God has forgiven him but it is so hard..I can not even enjoy our wedding anniversary..they say time heals..but sometimes I think a broken heart can never be mended..He also knew I had been severly hurt by my father in the past..I pray every day for God to heal my pain and for me to completely trust my husband again..... A cheating husband broke my heart..and then crushed it. I know a mistake can happen ..but after 10 years of marriage how can someone have their supposedly first affair on your wedding anniversary..He has lied over and over..I try to forgive..I know God has forgiven him but it is so hard..I can not even enjoy our wedding anniversary..they say time heals..but sometimes I think a broken heart can never be mended..He also knew I had been severly hurt by my father in the past..I pray every day for God to heal my pain and for me to completely trust my husband again…..

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