Thanks to CafePress
This has little to nothing to do with being A Good Husband, but I was talking with a few people yesterday on Twitter and they mentioned my editing of Jenny the Bloggess’ swearing on her answers to my questions about what makes A Good Husband. Jenny even felt a little bad about being edited.
Jenny, allow me to explain.
If you’ve ever spent any time in Utah, there is a very amusing culture of swearing without swearing. What do I mean? I think many of you know – you stub your down, and say “Fetch,” instead of … well, any other word that begins with F.
Mormons are experts at this kind of language manipulation. We don’t swear, so we have to find some other inventive way of expressing intense emotional anxiety.
I started digging into my memory of growing up as a teenager in a Utah high school and remembering what my peers used to say.
Got Down Sat On A Bench. Son of A Bishop. Oh My Heck. Aw Heck.
Okay, so those are the ones that I used to be guilty of saying. Oh, then there’s the one that I still use all the time:
I started asking my friends on Twitter which Mormon swears they remember, they came up with some good ones (no, they’re not all Mormon – you Gossip-Mo’s just stay away):
@LeislB 
jimminy christmas, holy shinola, frizz, sunny beaches, fudge … my favorite “Oh, my biggest freakin’ heck!”
@deguia The best “swearing” is from kids entertainment. Thomas the Train: “Cinders and Ashes!” SpongeBob: “Barnacles!”
@granata Hacking, Son of a Biscuit Eater, Son of a Mother, Holy Shinto, shiggles (s**ts and giggles). Reminds me of A Christmas Story.
@circa1978 My wife uses “Oh flip flap”. Some more of my favs: “What the frick”, “frackin’”, “What the doodle”, “oh, stink”, “oh suck” …
@BackpackingDad “Moroni’s Trumpet!” I just made that one up :} (worth honorable mention, just for the “what the…” factor)
So, you see, Ms. Bloggess, when you grow up in this kind of culture, you kinda can’t help ya’self. I’m not apologizing for the censoring per se, merely justifying. I hope you won’t be too upset.
Now back to your regularly scheduled constructive marriage advice blogging. Oh, if I missed any (which I know I did) you might as well comment so that the collection is complete.
[...] supershrimp wrote: Bitch is a female dog, so I don’t really see that as offensive towards people. Same with Ass. Donkey. Big Deal. I don’t care if someone calls me a donkey, and I don’t see why other people should. A few years back, my mom was trying to stop swearing(religious reasons) so she started using words like Ugly Shirt and Bad Perfume instead of words like Bitch and Ass. So instead of saying "You’re such a bitch sometimes" she said "You’re such an Ugly Shirt sometimes." When she was completely serious about it, it still hurt, because you knew what she meant by it. I don’t think it’s the actual words that are bad, but just the way people use them. I disagree. I think the choice of words matter just as much as the meaning behind them. Substituting ridiculous phrases for curse words is usually more comical than anything. Mormon Swearing | A Good Husband [...]