Marriage Advice From A Man
16 Oct
Sometimes another person has an idea so good that you just have to evangelize it a little bit. Corey from the Simple Marriage Project wrote two great posts (links at the bottom of this post) recently about where Lifestyle Design and Marriage intersect.
For those of you unfamiliar with the buzzword Lifestyle Design, it’s a term popularized by Tim Ferriss’ best selling book, The Four Hour Work Week. The term denotes taking control of your life and living deliberately. Not in some vague, new age, hippy, indefinable way, but instead taking concrete steps (little ones) each day to work towards a definable, measurable goal.
Much has been written on goals, and I am a goal setter myself, but what amuses me is hearing so many young men (and women) talking about wanting to hit certain goals before they get married. A person might want to pay off their student loans, travel the world, have adventures, live a little…all before they get married.
This attitude is lacking one fundamental concept: the real adventures in life begin after you get married. How many people have you heard talk about how much they grew, how much they changed, how much of a better person their spouse made them? The real adventures in life are the adventures of the soul, the travels and travails of parenthood, and making that journey with the one you are formally devoted to. There’s something about that formal commitment that joins two people together in a way that is unable to be imitated, and no other form of cooperation can compare to a focused married couple acting as one.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating everyone go out and get married as early as possible. I was married at 21 and that was a little bit tough. You know what, though? It was worth every moment of it. I would do it again.
It took us a couple of years, but my wife and I discovered a way to help make sure that we were always on the same page. I’ve talked about it here before, and I’m going to take you all on the journey again, starting with my next post. What is it? I’ll give you a hint: it has to do with Lifestyle Design.
In the meantime, check out Corey’s posts LifeStyle Design for Married People and Passionate Life to A More Passionate Marriage
6 Responses for "Lifestyle Design in Marriage"
I was just thinking about a similar thought the other day. About how much I realized I needed to grow once I got married. It help me see lots of my personal flaws and areas that I needed to grow in.
orlunds last blog post..Five Months Of History
I got married at 24 (also really young). But am lucky that my wife and I have grown together and constantly made the commitment to learn from each other and grow together. I would not be the man I am today without her. She rocks!
DC Urban Dads last blog post..Oh crap….my nanny is knocked up
I agree with your marriage point. ALL of the things I thought were fun, difficult and maddening before I got married turned out to be fairly mundane. It is an adventure, every step of the way, and I am looking forward to reading your next post!
PS-thanks for the book lead. I had not heard of it, but I’m going to go take a look at it a lunch (does lunch count as one of my four hours?)
Matts last blog post..I.O.U. Again.
I can’t wait to see what you post. I am always looking for ways to stretch and make more out of life and marriage. Simple Marriage is a wonderful blog. I hope your readers meander on over there to check it out. I’ve learned a bunch from both of you Cor(e)y’s blogs!
Haven’t heard about Lifestyle Design. I’ll check it out. I’m with you - life’s adventures do begin, or at least, become more satisfying, once you’re married. And then when the kids come, I’m not sure if it’s an adventure or a tornado. But kids make it all worth it to and take you on adventures that bring great paybacks. What a great observation you’ve made here.
B. Wildes last blog post..Brief Encounters with Miss Addie
Let me get this straight- Cory and Corey who both write about marriage. Wow…. I totally got you two confused. Another famous set of Cory’s come to mind…but I digress.
Glad to have more voices in the marriage/life conversation!
Dina
Dinas last blog post..Capitalize on the new Carnival #90 over at Baby Boomer Entrepreneur
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