What do you do after you get in a fight with your spouse? Do you buy roses? Do you buy candy? Do you talk it out until you both feel better? How about sitting up with your wife all night long, listening to her talk, sitting by her while she reads and just keeping her company. Would that work? It has for us, in the past.
You see, sometimes your spouse just wants to know that you care. Sometimes it’s nicer to just be there.
Marriages work best when you are willing to put in something that isn’t necessarily easy or convenient. Sometimes your partner is stressed out, maybe even a little bit unreasonable. Be there for them anyway. It’s that simple act of caring, that staying up all night even though you have work in the morning, with a big meeting and a deadline that won’t budge – that’s what says you love your partner.
One might argue that you’d be better off if you were good enough at communicating that you didn’t get into fights in the first place, and sure, you’d be right. Marriages aren’t perfect. Mine isn’t, anyway. It’s not really supposed to be, though, and that’s the thing. In practicality, however, there aren’t too many marriages that can say they don’t ever fight. Some people might even consider marriage without fighting akin to playing flag football: what’s the point? I don’t really subscribe to that philosophy, but it is definitely the rough moments in life that make us who we are.
Cheesy metaphor alert: When I was 19 years old, my bishop told me that river stones, prized for their beauty and smoothness, become the way they are because they spend their entire existence being tossed around by waves, bashed up against other rocks, and polished smooth by time and water pressure. We are like those stones. Life washes over us, tosses us around, but makes us beautiful. Be like the river rock, and just roll with it.
Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do, like staying up all night (you new dads know what I’m talking about, right). Good husbands do it all night long.
8 comments:
Are a sweet man. It’s incredible how clearly you can see what works.
See it. Accept it. Do it.
Loooove it!
Ok. Back to your post. Yep, I try and listen more, it’s tough, but I’m trying.