This is a guest post from Lori at MamaNuggle.
What it’s it like to be married to a dad blogger?
Well, a few thoughts and words come to mind immediately:
Cool. Awesome. Pride. Strange. Intrusive. Jealous – like your husband has a not-so-secret mistress.
Unless you’re a blogger yourself, you really don’t “get” it.
Unless you’re a blogger or a writer by trade, you don’t understand your spouse’s ability to recount daily activities in a humorous and poignant light. The need to connect with “virtual strangers” and allow them
back-stage access to all areas of your mundane existence. The compulsion to post. The desire to sacrifice necessities like food and sleep just so you can finish your next post.
I certainly didn’t “get” it.
That is, until I became a blogger myself a few weeks ago.
Let me back up just a bit:
Jeremy’s blog evolved from a personal journal he began to keep when our son Ty was born in 2006. Called Daddy’s Diary, the journal chronicled Ty’s first 100 days with us.The Diary was a first hand glimpse into the way my husband really felt about being a spouse and dad for the second time around. I say “second time” but that is not entirely accurate.
Yes, Jeremy was married before. While unfortunately the relationship didn’t last, it was fortunate for me that he did take away some excellent life lessons and a true gift from his prior marriage – that of being a father.
You see, Ty really isn’t Jeremy’s second child. Jeremy had become a father twice before, in his prior marriage. Heartbreakingly, his first daughter passed away at 6 weeks from a congenital heart defect. His second daughter Chani was 12 when our son Ty was born.
With so much time elapsed between Chani and Ty’s births, Jeremy was in a much different place in his life by the time Ty arrived. He was no longer a fast-paced executive at a record label who traveled numerous weeks out of the year, touring with clients. Nope, he was now prepping to be a SAHD (Stay At Home Dad) with his own home-based inspection business.He was older, wiser, and I’d like to think happier with his life. Most impressively, by choice, Jeremy was determined to not miss out on our son’s formative years as he had with
Chani.
A journalist at heart, Jeremy was gifted at crafting stories, expressing thoughts and emotions, and capturing snippets of life by vividly recounting them for posterity. Thus, the idea of Daddy’s Diary was born. What better gift to give your child than an introspective, heart-rending, honest, funny tale of their first few days on earth?
Daddy’s Diary has never been read by anyone outside our close-knit family. But the content was so rich, I kept telling Jeremy it should be turned into a book. Or shared with others. Jeremy liked the certain aspects of idea of sharing the Diary, but didn’t want to ship it off to a publisher. Though the Diary was a rough draft at best, the driving force behind it led to the emergence of Jeremy’s popular blog Discovering Dad.
In essence, blogging became a way of “testing the waters” to see if he could connect with others in similar situations. To see if there were other fathers and husbands out there that were so enthralled with their roles
that they felt compelled to share their experiences. To get and give advice. To provide a sounding board for thoughts. To open up dialogue between husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, kids and parents, all
across the globe.
And boy, did it ever!
Fueled by Jeremy’s passion, Discovering Dad became a public record of our lives together. It chronicles the ups and downs of being a parent. It showcases the lives of other involved fathers. It helps to shatter the
popular stereotypical misconception (perpetuated by the media) that most dads aren’t or don’t want to be deeply involved in their kids lives. It serves as a sounding board for hot button issues, driven by content,
questions, responses, and comments from other bloggers. (Remember the “What Moms really think about…Porn!” series? Need I say more?)
I’ll admit, at times, it seems weird to me that someone on a Powerbook in Toronto knows what my husband and I think about porn. Or my post-baby body. Or our compulsive cleaning habits. Or the fact that our TV is always tuned to kids’ shows like Pingu or Little Einsteins. .
It’s a little like living in a fishbowl. It strikes me as both flattering and odd that people I’ve never met face to face followed our pregnancy journey this year. The blogosphere celebrated our daughter Caitlin’s joyous
yet premature arrival into the world with us. It was comforting to know the on-line community was faithfully praying for our family, for a miracle to happen, as Caitlin battled a life-threatening infection. The support that
other bloggers gave us during those 23 nerve-wracking, heart-stopping days meant more than Jeremy or I can ever possibly convey.
Is there a trade off for “putting it all out there”? Sure there is. It means that – like reality TV – the good, the bad, and the ugly may find its way to the pages of the internet, for all the world to observe, if they so choose.
But perhaps most importantly, Jeremy’s blog is his way of expressing and sharing those millions of random moments that, pieced together, form the foundation of our life together. As spouses. As parents, As lovers. As best friends. Blogging provides a positive outlet for his thoughts, and serves as a time capsule of the otherwise soon-to-be-forgotten moments. It gives Jeremy a sense of purpose and satisfaction. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
10 comments:
As a man, blogging has allowed me to not just chronicle the events of my recent life, but it has also helped me think through and communicate my feelings in a way that makes me a stronger and better father/husband/friend/son.
I’ve really just gotten started “daddy-blogging” per say, and as I read the other dad’s out there it helps to know that I’m not alone in these feelings. This isn’t the sort of stuff you just share with your buds while playing ball or watching a movie, but it’s inside of us and has to come out somewhere.
Thanks MammaNuggle for sharing this and to all the wives and families who support their Daddy Blogger.
This series makes me feel good, and I didn’t have to do any writing!
LMAO, no kidding. This is a wonderful post.
She’s fairly supportive…probably more than she tells me, but I have to use the PC pretty sparingly at home.
My husband doesn’t quite “get it” either, but he is supportive of my writing (as long as I don’t name names…in posts that have something to do with in-laws/family stuff).
My hubby has said for years that I should write a book about my life, but my life is already splattered all over my posts, just written in more general terms for visitors, readers and family members.