A Good Husband
Marriage Advice From A Man
Am I a Neo-Feminist?
Author: Cory H.17 Jul
A recent anonymous comment left on my post about how men are killing chivalry accused me of harboring neo-feminist propaganda on this blog.
Huh?
Setting aside the the obvious spelling and grammatical errors in this comment (I’m consistenly amazed at the things people will write when they can post anonymously), I’d like to know more about Neo-feminism. Since Anonymous wasn’t kind enough to explain the concepts of neo-feminism, I was wondering how I might be more clear in my neo-feminist agenda.
Perhaps you, kind readers, might be willing to make suggestions on what I do to further the neo-feminist agenda?
Please use big words.
“They( Neofemenists) are of the opinion that because it was a man who imprisoned them, then any man was capable of the same deed. After all, men are alike, aren’t they? If you’ve been oppressed by one man, you’ve been oppressed by them all, to turn a phrase. When you believe an entire class of people has been wronged, and you are of that class, you are less likely to believe your class could be capable of committing wrongs than those of other classes. You view the critical eye of others as trying to re-oppress you, or to use prejudicial tactics of making up horrible lies just to put you back down again. No one wants to know their hero is fallible, and when your hero is an entire class of people, that makes it even harder. You view yourselves as one. And since you and your friends are not bad, and all of you are one, then no one else in the class can be bad. And if one is found out to be bad? It is called an isolated incident, and in fact is sometimes explained away as that member of the class had been so oppressed that they couldn’t take it anymore and broke, giving in to baser instincts, and did a bad thing. They were driven to this bad by those who oppressed them. Neofeminism wants women to take responsibility for their lives, but when women fail, it’s the men who are at fault for their failure.”
Though I am sort of excited to find a use for the word “assimulate.”
#1 - We need to take down that antifeminist site The Art of Manliness. Teaching men to be more manly? How misogynistic!
#2 - Post more about being more woman-friendly. You know, about how the woman is always right?
#3 - Quit using logic. Things don’t have to make sense, just keep in mind that it is the man’s fault. Always.
Anonymous should learn what satire is. That whooshing sound was the humor in the headline going over his head.
Although, I must admit that I think I somewhat understand what Anonymous is talking about. I’m sure you’ve seen many of today’s TV commercial that depict the husband/father as an imbecile. The “Spongebob No-pants” commercial comes to mind.
As far as this being an “agenda” by some group to eradicate the men, I just don’t see that. But, I must admit many sitcoms has given men (especially fathers) characters that are more deserving of a roll of the eyes from their daughter/wife/female character than of any real respect. The pre-teen shows on Disney channel are really bad about this.
What happened to the respectable TV dads like Dan Conner or Dr. Huxtable or (this might be a stretch) Red Foreman? When did a typical Dad become Homer Simpson or Ray Barone?
I do agree that there is a bias in the media in regards to men. I read a blog a while back in which the (female) author was upset because a dad brought their daughter to the library story-hour once, which made the other moms very uncomfortable with a man there because “you just never know”. I also recently saw a news article about a guy who was taking pictures of his kids during a public event a park and was asked not to take pictures because the other parents were afraid he would take pictures of their kids and post them up on the internet.
Now, I don’t know about you but as a dad with a little girl, that makes me very uncomfortable. Am I going to be looked at strangely if I give my daughter a hug in public?
But, I digress. I see what Anonymous was trying to say.. I just don’t think there is this big conspiracy to bring men down, and I don’t think your blog fits very well in to the neo-feminist agenda.
Anyway, back to you regularly scheduled neo-feminism.
I’m sorry to hear that you feel uncomfortable. You should be able to express affection to your daughter.
But I can’t say that the media alone is responsible for this stereotype. AAFP (http://www.aafp.org/afp/20010301/883.html) estimates that 12 to 25 percent of all girls and 8 to 10 percent of all boys are sexually abused before adulthood. And most of the abusers are men. (Statistics available if you search web.)
As a survivor myself, I try not to bring that fear to my kids but it’s a struggle. And even those who were never abused are hearing more stories due to media saturation about the child pornography and abuse by those in positions of power (teachers, priests, etc.)
It’s tough to be a mom of daughters in a world where pictures of teen girls have become popular internet porn and where predators prowl chat rooms looking for victims.
I encourage you to keep providing that great role model for your daughter of what a real man is. With more men like the guys on this blog, maybe soon parents will have less cause to worry.
@Russ - You made me laugh. Thanks!
@Anonymous - You sure post a lot. I really appreciate your continuous contributions, across almost every subject and every issue. I’m sure that somehow your quoted statistics were meant to help us all better understand the definition of Neo-feminism. Perhaps at some point I will understand.
Once again, thank you.
Laurie has this one right. Need to stop worrying about what others think and be the right role model/mentor for your child.
I am only speaking for myself here. But I, like my friends, want to be that hero, that knight! I work at it and I struggle like every man.
I don’t agree that this is a neo-feminist site in any way. And I don’t agree that there is a general propaganda against men on any level. But it is hard to ignore the simple facts that you will find women’s groups in a church but not many men’s (unless they are upper middle class “set your own schedule” types), you see story after story in books, TV, and movies about uplifting children and women because of their victim status. The courts will write laws that aid the women and not honestly look to the better provider (this is true especially in the south as my friend will tell).
And in the end of this diatribe of mine. I look around and feel like an island of a man under scrutiny, distrust, doubt, and reticule from most every angle. It is only made worse when you marry a woman who had no father, or worse, and you must show your worth over and over and over.
So to have a site like this that will aid me in an uplifting way without destroying what confidence and pride is left in a person is a great relief to me. I turn here often for help, advice, and other help because I know that the advice will come honestly and without a hidden agenda that may or may not be against me, a man.
So thank you Good Husband. I at least have one place to turn in this world.
Good Husband, perhaps you can understand and make people like me understand what it is all about!