This is the fourth post in a series of guest posts from different female bloggers around the net. The ideas for these posts sprang from the question, “What do wives wish good husbands knew?”The Donkey (he’s a bit clueless) and The Wife (she’s pretty patient) share funny stories from their marriage at WifeAdvice.com

He Said

Can a husband ever be too busy to compliment his wife? I like to hope so since I am terrible at complimenting my wife, but the fact is no one is that busy. Women need and love to be complimented. It’s a simple truth that wives need encouragement and praise because they have one of the hardest jobs: dealing with us husbands. Wives are sweet people by nature and need to be nurtured by their husbands. They look to their husbands for that support and thrive on that special complimenting whisper from the ones they love the most. So what can husbands like us do? What do our wives need? Allow me to shed some light on the situation.

Getting out of the compliment-less frame of mind
For those of you who just can’t seem to turn the compliment corner, I have a solution: make it a habit. Some husbands may have forgotten how to compliment their wives while others may have never regularly complimented them. If you fall within these categories, then you will benefit from a compliment checklist. Simply create a checklist that will be easy to access (paper based or electronic). Start out with a goal to make 2-3 compliments per day. Don’t get crazy and make a goal for 10 right off the bat. You want to be slick about this, not overtly obvious that you are forcing the compliments. After several days of success, you can turn it up a notch and go for 3-5 complimentary statements. Experts claim that habits take 2 weeks to form, so you should begin to see some automatic behavior by day 7. After 2 weeks you can throw your reminder cards away and enjoy a natural approach to complimenting your wife.

If you are really clueless you can use some of my favorite compliments. I have provided some starter compliments and some expert ones once you get the hang of it. Again, you don’t want to be too obvious in the beginning

Starter Compliments:

• The house looks great today. Maybe tomorrow you can make it two in a row.
• It’s been great to have you in such a good mood recently. I haven’t heard any yelling all day.
• I never knew you could cook?? What a delicious dinner!
• What a nice dress! I can’t believe you can fit into that again.

Expert Compliments:

• You looked so nice when I left this morning that I couldn’t wait to see you again after work.
• I appreciate the time and effort you put into raising our children. The work you do will influence generations to come.
• How did I get so lucky to marry such a great woman?
• Why should we ever go out to eat when you make great food like this?

• Compliments: See The Donkey’s list above, or come up with your own
• Validation: Listen to your wife’s concerns and feelings and show that you understand
• Encouragement: Let your wife know that you believe in her, and encourage her in areas where she may be unsure.
• Affection: A quick pat on the knee, a kiss on the cheek, or a hug are great ways to give your wife positive feedback.

Sometimes husbands aren’t perfect at doing this type of stuff. My husband couldn’t understand why I didn’t take it as a compliment when he rated my looks a 6 out of 10 (while we were on our honeymoon!). So you may need to be a bit patient with them, and model some positive feedback yourself. But, if I can love a donkey, anyone can.