A Good Husband
Marriage Advice From A Man
Chivalry is Dead Because Men Are Killing It
Author: Cory H.29 May
Image courtesy of think2ink.wordpress.com
Men may not comment much on Daddy Blogs. They also may not comment much on websites about how to be a good husband. Men also, apparently, don’t think much of chivalry. You know where they do comment though? They comment on websites about how women are entitlement princesses, gold diggers, and whores.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have come across a couple of blogs that I originally thought were about male empowerment and becoming a better man. As I read posts however, and read comments and participated in the discussions, I discovered that these sites were more about enabling men who don’t want to step up to the plate and make the world what it could be.
These men have several flawed arguments for not stepping up.
- Feminism teaches women to disrespect men. While certain elements of feminism are anti-male, that’s not what feminism is about. Modern feminism is about women taking their rights into their own hands, being strong enough to stand for those rights, while at the same time still owning the right to be feminine in speech, dress, and manner.
- Women don’t want men who are strong leaders. Also not true. Women want men who are good husbands, fathers, and friends. Part of being a man is stepping up and using those uniquely masculine traits to make the world a better place. Glenn Sacks can come up with all the examples he wants of crazy, spiteful women whom no one would trust. Meanwhile, there are millions of women who quietly wish their man would step up to the plate, or who proudly support the man they married - who is a strong leader in the family and the community.
- Women now get better treatment than men in the media. I wish this fallacy would go away as well. While it is definitely true that man bashing is now in vogue with the media, that doesn’t mean that the degradation of women has lessened to a noticeable degree. We still see women as sex objects in advertising, the sexualization of little girls, and depiction of women as vapid, weak willed airheads. Too bad stereotypes are such easy advertising tools.
There are men out there who step up to the plate, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a Daddy blogger reading this, you’re most likely one of them. The Daddy Bloggers of the world have to understand that we live in a skewed world view, however, and that there are still plenty of men out there who sincerely believe that:
- Chauvinism is okay.
- Men don’t have to be leaders & providers.
- Pornography, voyeurism, and casual sex are okay.
- Physical, Emotional and Sexual Abuse are okay.
So how about it? What are you doing each day to help the world be a little bit better place? Do you stand up for what it means to be a real man? Do you stand up for chivalry?
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3 Responses for "Chivalry is Dead Because Men Are Killing It"
Being yet an honorable man, I will confirm your charge that I am killing chivalry.
I consider it a bad habit in myself and I have counseled my sons against picking it up.
I still believe that all of its elements are good ideals and to be followed to the best of one’s ability. All of one’s acts, great and small, are where our moral constitution’s rubber meets the road. It is also where the road meets the rubber and its true condition cannot be wished away.
You claim that feminism doesn’t teach the disrespect of men and that women will abide strong male leadership. Whom am I to believe? You or my lying eyes? You even blatantly twist an undeniable truth of the treatment of men in the common media into a whining complaint that your strawman abases himself with.
I spent my formative adolescent years in residence at a strict honor code institution. Here is your lesson in advanced honor.
Honor is a precious and fragile thing that can only exist and operate among those who prize and swear themselves to it. It obligates one to idealistic acts regardless of one’s personal interests. However, its duties are easily manipulated by the unscrupulous, obligating one to his own and even honor itself’s own destruction. Therefore, honor is not owed where honor is not offered. Honor is never obligated to do evil.
As honor is protected by rejecting the claims of those who are not sworn to it, so must chivalry be protected.
Worse still than women’s rejection of men’s chivalry is their utter rejection even to decided ignorance of their own obligations: poise, gentleness, honesty, fidelity, charity, humility, and, yes, chastity.
Only to such a lady do I OWE chivalry. To the rest it is an un-earned a favor that I give or not at my choosing. It is a matter of my integrity, not my duty.
Despite your enthusiasm and personal dedication, you are a dilettante who would guide good men down a road of woe and waste. Think twice and look carefully for the one that matches the gentleman’s constitution. The other rough and rutted one respects only the iron strapped wheel.
[...] recently came to my attention that a post that I wrote some time ago about how men are killing chivalry gained a little bit of attention. Seems that the debate around chivalry is still alive and [...]
Lighter sentences for murder, child molestation, affirmative action in the workplace, asymmetric social and legal rules regarding sexual harassment, and just about any issue in the Family Court.
If you think men have it good, you are blind or unwilling to open your eyes. Feminism is about bashing men and benefiting women, plain and simple.
Read the fine print in the Violence Against Women Act, read the statistics on divorce (70% initiated by women) and joint custody legislation (blocked by feminist groups, lobbied for by fathers’ groups).
Chivalry is dead. Andrea Dworkin sat on it, and Catherine MacKinnon ruled its death an accident.
Dead, dead, dead.
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