When A Husband Gets Praise & Compliments

Men like to receive compliments and praise, ladies. Women may joke that men have fragile little egos that need to be stroked, but few things go as far for a man as a little recognition of his inherent worth.

Men, I’m here to tell you that is okay. Women, you should read this story from the Fascinating Woman about how simply complimenting your husband can change your marriage.

In my post on Companionship Inventory I mentioned that my wife and I give each other at least three to five sincere compliments each and every Sunday. This practice was a huge contributor to saving our marriage in those first two difficult years.

Speaking for myself, I find the following three points about praise to be true.

Even though I want it, I find it difficult to accept praise. I love to be told I did a good job. I love it when my wife says the food I made is good, thanks me for providing our income, or tells me I’m good looking. The problem is that I often turn this praise aside. I’ll say things like, “Anybody could have done that,” or “No, I’m not.”

We should receive praise graciously. I know men on the opposite end of the praise receiving spectrum. Their wife says they did a good job and they immediately reply, “Darn right I did.” Some men don’t know how to react when they’re praised.

Hint: Men, the correct response is to say “thank you,” or even “thanks.” Nothing else is necessary, as long as you are gracious. You could perhaps try adding a smile.

To get praise, you should give praise liberally and return praise sincerely. Let your wife know she’s beautiful. Tell her you appreciate her cooking. Rave about how good she is with the kids. Write her a note saying these things so that she can hold onto it. When you get a compliment from someone, try saying something nice about them back.

You don’t have to tell anyone this, but that last one is straight out of my wife’s Miss Manners book (it’s also in Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, if that’s more manly for you). If you can master the art of returning each compliment with something you sincerely appreciate about that person, you will become popular and have lots of friends.

What about all of you? Do you find it difficult to accept or give compliments?