Wendy over at eMoms at Home got me thinking about failure. I have very diverse interests and I like to try a lot of different things. Most of the time I’m not very good at them when I start. Why do I keep trying new things?
A couple of years ago I took a clown class. That’s right, crazy clothes, red nose, makeup, the whole bit. As part of that class I had to do an exercise that the teacher called The Ring of Fire.
No, not that sort of Ring of Fire.
We had to stand in a circle of our peers and try to make everyone laugh. Not just laugh, but a full on belly laugh. It had to be everyone at the same time, and it had to be an honest, genuine, full on laugh, as judged by the instructor. If you don’t think this sounds difficult, try it sometime. Some people were able to do it fairly quick…it took me 45 minutes.
It’s interesting what you think about when you are in that kind of situation. Your attitude quickly becomes, “Do something, anything! Just do something to make it stop!” I was desperate for success.
Do you know this feeling?
Do you ever have that feeling in your relationships?
I remember several times, after hurting my wife’s feelings, seeing a mental image of that ring of fire exercise. Everyone staring at me while I poured sweat trying to think of something to fix what was going on. I wanted to say something, anything to make my wife feel better.
She now recognizes that face that I make when I’m in the Ring of Fire mode. Usually it makes her laugh, so then I’m off the hook. If the face doesn’t work, then I have to go through with the exercise.
How did people finally succeed at the Ring of Fire? By trying sincerely and failing miserably. You say things, do things, try things, until something works. You can’t be afraid to fall on your face. I try to take this same approach in my marriage. I love my wife and I’ll try anything to make her happy. Usually it doesn’t work and I’m back to starting over, but I think she recognizes that and values our relationship even more for it.
That, or she just enjoys that face I make when I’m in the Ring of Fire.
