Duty is not a burden. Duty is a form of love.
- Terry Goodkind.
I’m a trained actor. That’s what I studied in college and what I have planned on doing with my life for a long time. Recently I took a full time day job so that my chronically ill wife could have health insurance and so that we could pay off some debt. One night my beautiful wife asked me if I regretted working at a regular job instead of pursuing acting full time.
The answer is no, of course not. I love the theatre and it is my passion, but I also love my wife and I regard the promises that I made to her as sacrosanct. Husbands have certain duties and obligations that must be filled. Meeting these obligations is far more fulfilling than achievement in a chosen profession.
A very wise man that I know named Richard Moffat gave a lesson on priorities that reflected the duties of a husband. Those priorities are, in order of importance, as follows:
1. A Higher Power. Whether you are Christian, Jew, Muslim or something else you owe your respect and diligence to something outside of yourself. Even if you are an Atheist, you will find your life more fulfilling if you have something outside of you and bigger than you to believe in. Your duty to a Higher Power should be first in your life, before everything else. If it is, then you will have the proper perspective on life and your spirit will be fed, enlarged, and enlightened.
2. Self. You are not able to help others with all your capacity if you are not functioning at your highest level. You need to make sure you are healthy, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Jesus Christ told the hypocritical Pharisees that they were “whited sepulchres full of dead men’s bones and rotting flesh,” and that before they could tell others how to act they must first “cleanse the inner vessel.”
3. Spouse. The most important person in your life is your spouse. Not your boss, mother, father, or any other. If you treat your spouse as being important, and your marriage as sacrosanct, many problems will fall away without even being noticed.
4. Church/Volunteering. Rendering service is important and good. It builds character and perspective. Notice that I put duty to a higher power above duty to your church. They’re often separate.
5. Career. Far too many men obsess about their careers. They see it as what defines them. Many men do it without realizing they are obsessing. If your career is getting in the way of your spirit, your health, or your relationship, then something is wrong. I truly believe that placing your higher power, your self, and your spouse above your career is a true key to happiness.
6. Social. Friends, football games, and backyard barbecues are wonderful, enriching, and fun. They can also be very time consuming. A husband should not let any of these things interfere with his relationship with his higher power or with his spouse. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of friends and really enjoy spending time with them, but I know where my first priorities belong.
I love this article and it's right on point. I married 12 years ago at age 21, husband was 22. We started dating when I was 16. For years I suffered with his emotional neglect. The more I loved him and catered to him, the more he took my love to energize himself just to give it somewhere else. He neglected me and our children for anything; church, work, his parents, friends. Ultimately he met another woman and that was the final straw for me. I put him out of my house. It was hard but I thank God for giving me a way out the marriage. He was never going to change. He is still trying to win me back but I won't have it. When a woman gets fed up it's way too late.
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