A Good Husband
Marriage Advice From A Man
Duties of a Husband
Author: Cory H.5 Mar
Duty is not a burden. Duty is a form of love.
- Terry Goodkind.
I’m a trained actor. That’s what I studied in college and what I have planned on doing with my life for a long time. Recently I took a full time day job so that my chronically ill wife could have health insurance and so that we could pay off some debt. One night my beautiful wife asked me if I regretted working at a regular job instead of pursuing acting full time.
The answer is no, of course not. I love the theatre and it is my passion, but I also love my wife and I regard the promises that I made to her as sacrosanct. Husbands have certain duties and obligations that must be filled. Meeting these obligations is far more fulfilling than achievement in a chosen profession.
A very wise man that I know named Richard Moffat gave a lesson on priorities that reflected the duties of a husband. Those priorities are, in order of importance, as follows:
1. A Higher Power. Whether you are Christian, Jew, Muslim or something else you owe your respect and diligence to something outside of yourself. Even if you are an Atheist, you will find your life more fulfilling if you have something outside of you and bigger than you to believe in. Your duty to a Higher Power should be first in your life, before everything else. If it is, then you will have the proper perspective on life and your spirit will be fed, enlarged, and enlightened.
2. Self. You are not able to help others with all your capacity if you are not functioning at your highest level. You need to make sure you are healthy, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Jesus Christ told the hypocritical Pharisees that they were “whited sepulchres full of dead men’s bones and rotting flesh,” and that before they could tell others how to act they must first “cleanse the inner vessel.”
3. Spouse. The most important person in your life is your spouse. Not your boss, mother, father, or any other. If you treat your spouse as being important, and your marriage as sacrosanct, many problems will fall away without even being noticed.
4. Church/Volunteering. Rendering service is important and good. It builds character and perspective. Notice that I put duty to a higher power above duty to your church. They’re often separate.
5. Career. Far too many men obsess about their careers. They see it as what defines them. Many men do it without realizing they are obsessing. If your career is getting in the way of your spirit, your health, or your relationship, then something is wrong. I truly believe that placing your higher power, your self, and your spouse above your career is a true key to happiness.
6. Social. Friends, football games, and backyard barbecues are wonderful, enriching, and fun. They can also be very time consuming. A husband should not let any of these things interfere with his relationship with his higher power or with his spouse. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of friends and really enjoy spending time with them, but I know where my first priorities belong.
5 Responses for "Duties of a Husband"
I would add one more to this list. Kids/Family…When kids enter the equation…many guys go from being a husband to being a Dad and leave the spouse second at best. I believe that a family is made up of a husband and wife and that kids are a welcome addition to that family. When we as husbands lead and take care of our wives, we bring security to the rest of our family.
Someone needs to tell women also that “Duty is not a burden. Duty is a form of love”. Unfortunately today we see most of the women are completely neglectful of their duties as wife. Most women today see that doing things for their husbands, giving love to children is a burden and it interferes with their individuality. That is quite sad thinking.
Lot of women today put their friends and their work ahead of their family because they are competing for climbing the corporate ladder. Family should come first.
Women should realize that jobs come and go (look at Nortel, GM) and neglecting husband and children and putting their career ahead of everything is not good for anyone, including the women.
rich, well, we live in a complex society with different set of social values and priorities. Today’s women under the influence of feminist ideology behave radically different from just 50 years ago. Women’s understanding of their role in the society has considerably changed. Some women constantly face the challenge of how to be a woman in today’s world. Feminist ideology doesn’t help women appreciate themselves for who they are. It’s a very complex problem.
I am entering a very serious relationship this year that might lead to marriage. I have mixed emotions, happy and yet sometimes having the feeling of “fear of the unknown.” This post gave me some peace of mind. Thank you for this post.
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